Just last Saturday marked your 4th year on this
planet. This year it was hot, 4 years ago it snowed and I was sure the nurses
would turn us away when we got to hospital to be induced. This day was much
more laid back, being the weekend of memorial day but getting ready for a party
is never easy for me, but we got your Sonic the Hedgehog decorations and the
balloons and I made a silly Sonic cake that I saw on Pintrest and it turned out
decently. As I reflect on the past year it’s been rocky, your meltdowns come
frequently and intensely. We’ve started some therapy and you’re now in a therapeutic
preschool that is trying to help you figure out how to express your feelings
without throwing, screaming and hitting. Just this morning while your sister
threw a fit about not being about to undo the knot in her shoe you told her to “ask
for help” and I was a proud mama.
Now to the good: You’re finally potty trained! You were
almost there for so long, but now it’s real and even with very minor accidents
you are mature enough to tell me right away! Can I just tell you how many times
I declared “this is the last box of diapers that I will buy!” at least 3, but
the last time stuck since I said you could start wearing cloth again during the
day and use the disposable ones at night until they ran out. You did not like
wearing the “baby diapers” and I think that helped, I also think your new
babysitter pushed you more than I would have knowing that things I did at home
might not translate to what you did when you were apart from me, but she took
the initiative to put you in underpants during the day and you liked being a
big boy. Now we are even having dry nights, it’s a magical thing!
You’ve matured a lot and I’m amazed when I look at you how
big you are, you were just my little baby a few weeks ago, I swear! Now you
have a backpack and ride a bus to preschool.
Eating is still not fun, for either one of us (unless it’s
me sneaking cookies while no one is looking) but at your doctor appointment,
you were average height and while still low on your weight, not to the point
that the doctor was concerned. But lately you’ve stopped eating your favorite
meal of the day – breakfast. Not all the time, just most of the time, and I
think it might be that if someone isn’t at the table being social with you or
at times, feeding you, you just don’t eat. Ugh, kid, you are 4 now, you can eat
cereal and oatmeal on your own now, okay?
Your coordination has gotten better and you can get dressed
and put on your own shoes and ride your scooter, but of course it’s much more
fun to yell at me about how I’m not getting your shoes on while you run away
and hide. But still. And drawing, you draw people with arms and legs and faces,
but mostly we get monsters; that is your specialty.
You have 10 imaginary big brothers that live in the North
Pole with Santa. They are giants and can walk through walls and do all kinds of
things. Some day when you want to be big and strong, you will eat broccoli,
since that is how your brothers grew to be giants, but at the moment you say
you just want to stay the same size, no growing for you, which is why you
refuse to eat any healthy food whatsoever. While moms all say they never want
you to grow up, we do goes nuts over the whole “I’m not eating anything so I
can stay in my 3T clothes forever” thing.
With all the dramaz you create, you also love so very much.
You are the sweetest thing sometimes and tell me how beautiful I am and how
much you love me. You want nothing more than to be best friends with me and
your sister. Of course that can create tension when our lives don’t than
revolve around you. Currently you are often found sneaking out of your bedroom
to cuddle with Hayley at bedtime and I often find you snoozing together and I have
to take you back to your bed or your sister will crush you with her flailing
limbs.
You are excited to be the big brother and are very impatient
for the new brother to get here because you’d like to play with him now
thank-you-very-much and so we talk about how much more time the baby needs to
grow (oh just about forever and I can’t count the days yet because my brain
doesn’t comprehend that large of a number) but you are very good with the ~1
year old at the sitter so I’m hoping that while you already act like a middle
child that syndrome won’t surface for awhile and I can get some rest between
the meltdowns and the baby stuff.
It’s been a tough year but I think we’ve grown and hopefully
we’ll have the tools to face the future in a better way. I heart you my little
boo bear and look forwards to many more sloppy kisses!
Love, mama
