This month has been one of words! You know what animals make what sounds and where the fish live (water, obv) and can repeat most of the alphabet on cue if I tell what to letters to say. Q, R U & W are tricky ones, but you try and that’s good enough.
Dancing is your new fun thing. You are totally into New Wave, but as Daddy proved with his country “music” you’ll dance to anything with a beat. You’re also a real TV addict now. If you can con someone into turning on your videos you will watch them over and over. If the TV isn’t on, you’re miffed about it and keep pointing and grunting. Sorry babe, I can’t let the TV babysit you, apparently they rot your…hey what was I saying? Oh well.
It’s getting warmer and so we starting to take little walks some evenings, you’re still into just watching the world from your stroller, and so that’s fine with me. I’ve been wanting to take you to the tiny park near the house, but that has not been in the cards, but this weekend, fingers crossed, we’ll make it. I say this as it’s raining buckets outside, so we’ll see. But you love swings, our at your uncle’s house, they have a swing set and every single time you went back and forth you said “Whee” so I figured you were having a good time, but then when we had to leave you sobbed and threw a fit! Speaking of throwing a fit, I tried one of the shopping carts that is also a little car for you to drive. We were shopping for a long time, so when it was time to get back into the car, I figured you would be done with it. No sir! You had a little meltdown there in the parking lot. That was fun.
Feeding you is still tricky. Some days mac and cheese will cut it, but some days it’s like poison to your little mouth. But I have discovered that you love raisins, so there is one thing I can get you to eat and they are very portable. We can take raisins to church!
That poor cat, you love him, but it’s very tough love. He will sit there and let you pull out his hair trying to pull him onto your lap or when you try to turn his head for him so you can kiss him. Every time we pull into the driveway you always starting exclaiming “kitty, kitty” and the only way I can get you to leave to go home is by reminding you that there’s a kitty at home who needs you.
I’ve been scrambling to make sure you have a summer wardrobe as when that oppressive summer heat hits us, you’ll need something other then long pants. Time will only tell if I’ve gotten enough shorts to manage the long sweaty days ahead.
You’re going to have to have some more patience with me, as I have very little patience left at the end of the day and can get very frustrated with you. It doesn’t help that your very stubborn and independent now. You have to do everything your way, heaven help us all if I try and tell you no about something. Oh don’t get me started on time outs. They seemed to work for awhile, but now, I can’t get you to sit on the naughty stair for all the tea in China. You melt right off it and onto the floor and then you think you can just go chase the cat as long as I’m not paying attention. I’ve got news for you kiddo, I’m always paying attention. Which leaves us in the middle of our power struggle. I don’t think we’re going to get this resolved any time soon, no matter how much Super Nanny I watch, but I’m sticking to my guns. There will be some kind of discipline in our house!
But for every fit or meltdown is a moment of spun gold where you want me to read to you and climb up on my lap, or you repeat something I just said out of the blue. When that happens all my tensions are released and we just giggle and go back to having fun.
Here’s to more fun this month,
Mama
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Monday, May 19, 2008
Where I Get a Little Serious
I had a funny little ditty post in my head to post today, but in light of recent tragic events in my not so immediate family. I wanted to write some thoughts instead.
http://obits.kutv.com/search/show_listing/2506
At first I was reluctant to attend the funeral, no one likes funerals and I had meetings at work and it was 30 minutes away. One of my meetings was canceled, so I took that as a sign I should go.
Lindsey was my second cousin or something, my mom could tell you, she is good at all that relative-figuring-out stuff, but all I know is that her dad is my dad’s cousin. I didn’t know her. We may have meet a few times, but we rarely saw each other and so would spend out time playing with our closer cousins that we knew better.
During the funeral I was introduced to a person I would have really liked and would have liked to have known better. Sometimes you hear stories about inspiring people, they do inspiring things or overcome inspiring odds. But Lindsey through the way she lived, has inspired me. I sat there and listened to the beautiful memories and wondered if there would be that much good to say about me. I’m not saying that I’m a terrible person or that everyone hates me and will be singing “Ding Dong the Witch is Dead” but will I have lived the life that would tell it’s own story. Lindsey lived with passion and excitement that I could feel just hearing about it. She lived life to the fullest at all times. Going hiking and running marathons. She worked hard making sure that the boys she worked with all knew that she was no delicate flower and could keep up with them. She also knew what is really important. She was friends with everyone she knew and that was evidenced in the high attendance at the church. She also had a wonderful testimony. It was high praise indeed that her bishop said when she shared her testimony with him before leaving on her mission it was the most spiritually filled his office had ever been, and that’s a man that gets the Lord’s help every step of the way.
I found it very interesting and poignant that during the funeral they sand a song from the musical Wicked “For Good” which I’ve only known for about a month now. This song makes me cry driving around in the car and I thought it especially beautiful today:
It well may be
http://obits.kutv.com/search/show_listing/2506
At first I was reluctant to attend the funeral, no one likes funerals and I had meetings at work and it was 30 minutes away. One of my meetings was canceled, so I took that as a sign I should go.
Lindsey was my second cousin or something, my mom could tell you, she is good at all that relative-figuring-out stuff, but all I know is that her dad is my dad’s cousin. I didn’t know her. We may have meet a few times, but we rarely saw each other and so would spend out time playing with our closer cousins that we knew better.
During the funeral I was introduced to a person I would have really liked and would have liked to have known better. Sometimes you hear stories about inspiring people, they do inspiring things or overcome inspiring odds. But Lindsey through the way she lived, has inspired me. I sat there and listened to the beautiful memories and wondered if there would be that much good to say about me. I’m not saying that I’m a terrible person or that everyone hates me and will be singing “Ding Dong the Witch is Dead” but will I have lived the life that would tell it’s own story. Lindsey lived with passion and excitement that I could feel just hearing about it. She lived life to the fullest at all times. Going hiking and running marathons. She worked hard making sure that the boys she worked with all knew that she was no delicate flower and could keep up with them. She also knew what is really important. She was friends with everyone she knew and that was evidenced in the high attendance at the church. She also had a wonderful testimony. It was high praise indeed that her bishop said when she shared her testimony with him before leaving on her mission it was the most spiritually filled his office had ever been, and that’s a man that gets the Lord’s help every step of the way.
I found it very interesting and poignant that during the funeral they sand a song from the musical Wicked “For Good” which I’ve only known for about a month now. This song makes me cry driving around in the car and I thought it especially beautiful today:
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with meLike a handprint on my heart
Like a comet pulled from orbit
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed For Good
I guess I need to say that because I knew of Lindsey, I have been changed for good. It’s hard to know that her family had to say goodbye to her so early, but while there may be regrets on our end of things she never got to do, but there aren’t regrets over the things she’s done. She lived more life in her 23 years then I have, and I envy her that and vow to live in a way that there won’t be regrets for the things I said or did.
Death is always hard on those left behind, but life is so valuable because it ends. It’s precious and fleeting, we only get our own lifetime to live and while sometimes it seems like things happen for no reason, there is reason, it’s just that we don’t understand what it is. That’s why the gospel is so important, it really know that we can be together forever, it does take the sting of death away somewhat. And as Psalms 30 tells us, weeping may endure for a night, but Joy cometh in the morning. It may be a long night, but eventually comes the morning. Knowing that Lindsey will be with her family again makes it easier for them to let her go, because it’s only for a season.
I hope that I can make changes in the way I live and make them stick. Even after her passing Lindsey is still motivating people to live better!
I guess I need to say that because I knew of Lindsey, I have been changed for good. It’s hard to know that her family had to say goodbye to her so early, but while there may be regrets on our end of things she never got to do, but there aren’t regrets over the things she’s done. She lived more life in her 23 years then I have, and I envy her that and vow to live in a way that there won’t be regrets for the things I said or did.
Death is always hard on those left behind, but life is so valuable because it ends. It’s precious and fleeting, we only get our own lifetime to live and while sometimes it seems like things happen for no reason, there is reason, it’s just that we don’t understand what it is. That’s why the gospel is so important, it really know that we can be together forever, it does take the sting of death away somewhat. And as Psalms 30 tells us, weeping may endure for a night, but Joy cometh in the morning. It may be a long night, but eventually comes the morning. Knowing that Lindsey will be with her family again makes it easier for them to let her go, because it’s only for a season.
I hope that I can make changes in the way I live and make them stick. Even after her passing Lindsey is still motivating people to live better!
Monday, May 05, 2008
Floating Through the Atmosphere
I feel so directionless at the moment. I have virtually no life goals, or than the basics of "live and let live" that sort of thing. I no longer have a date of action events. I could very easily end up just like my boss who just got the "35 years long service" award. My work is a black hole. It's comfortable and I know it and most of the time it's pretty easy as long as I don't actually care about trying to go by the state policy and just do whatever my bosses want instead. I'm looking for a new job, but in a very lazy way. I'm looking for jobs online and i even applied to one since it was all online and perfect. It was working with numbers. I'm through working with people, I just want to punch them all in the face, so I should work with numbers, they don't have faces to punch. But I didn't hear anything about it and it's been a while. The problem is, I make decent money and I can't seem to find anything that I would actually want to do that would pay me more and more is the only way to go.
I was at a bridal shower for a cousin with all the family I rarely see and people asking me about working, etc and I can't even smile and say "It's fine!" I told my cousin-in-law that I'm going to die at my current job and I couldn't loathe it more. I'm sure that's what she was looking for in conversation from me while her daughter used the restroom. I'm a regular ray of light.
The problem is going some place new will require effort and it's easier just to stay put and not make quite enough money and despise my job then it is to find a new job and learn new things.
Still, it's made me very pessimistic about life the universe and everything. And no plans. If you asked me what I would like to happen in 2008, I think I might to able to manage a blank stare, but there will be an underlining current of cynicism about the "future" as I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. And the tunnel seems more like an underground labyrinth (without David Bowie in stretch pants) in which I seem doomed to wander endlessly.
But hey, at least it's sunny today! Maybe I have SADS that works in reverse.
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