Bouncing the Expectations

So the new Tori album is coming out next week. The whole album is available on her myspace at http://www.myspace.com/toriamos to listen to. So I've been devoting myself to clicking through all the songs a couple of times before I came to an opinion.

There are moments. They are few and far between. With this album it's either pretty piano nothings or in-your-face rock chick. There isn't much in between, although Bouncing Off Clouds is okay.

But you know what bugs me the most? It's the phrasing. It's the 87 syllable clo-e-ouds and the odd way she takes a line and makes it fit where it doesn't sound meant to fit. Where she takes a line and there's a silence before the thought is complete. I'm trying to think, do her other albums do this? I don't think so. See's always had a problem pronoucing things correctly, but it's so unbelievably overpowering that it's had for me to not only understand that words, but it just grates on my nerves. Why? Why so much?

I was ready to be disappointed, I was, but then there were the good reviews and I started to hope. Stupid hope. I think this may place far below Beekeeper for me, I hate to say that, but at least Beekeeper has moments and the album seems cohesive and there seems be a connectedness through the album, even if it was a tad boring.

This is just...weird. It's weird. I don't know what else to call it. It definitely is more interesting, but seriously, the song "Posse Bonus" which I guess is a bonus track, the lyrics are "Here's your posse bonus/Because I li-i-i-i-ke you" It sounds almost like a joke. Like she was goofing off at the piano and they kept the tape rolling and decided it was a good song. It's not.

It seems uninspired. I mean, think for a minute "Space Dog" and then "You can Bring Your Dog", "Mr Bad Man", "Fat Slut" and the list goes on.

"He’s a bad man/ Mr. Bad Man/ And she had enough of him/ So the walls try/ To dry her eyes/ Cause the bad man/ Made her cry" Seriously. I think I wrote poetry like this in 9th grade. Or course poetry and songs are quite different. This song almost has a Beatles-eque quality, but also a little "Wednesday" sound to it. It's sounds unresolved.

My first listen through, nothing really grabbed me. Of course I was at work, working, so there's that, but it couldn't hold my attention. Most of the songs seem very background music, nothing that's going to make anyone go "Whoa! What's this?"

I think Tori is doing her thing, and that's great, but it's not really a good record. I'm bored with the whole "I took on the persona of this other woman to write this song" but after a while, it just doesn't ring true. I think she's glad to distance herself from the songs, but it's making them less interesting.

There are also guitars. In almost every song apparently. Hmmph. I think it's not really helping. I'm almost embarrassed about it, like if I buy it, I'll be the one if dark glasses and I'll pay cash. I'm trying. I'm listening to it still. I want something to grab me. Please.

Also, why the wigs? I get it for the "other" characters, but she needs a wig to be "Tori"? Maybe it's the chunky bangs, but I hate it. It bugs me.

Seacrest out.