Bouncing the Expectations

So the new Tori album is coming out next week. The whole album is available on her myspace at http://www.myspace.com/toriamos to listen to. So I've been devoting myself to clicking through all the songs a couple of times before I came to an opinion.

There are moments. They are few and far between. With this album it's either pretty piano nothings or in-your-face rock chick. There isn't much in between, although Bouncing Off Clouds is okay.

But you know what bugs me the most? It's the phrasing. It's the 87 syllable clo-e-ouds and the odd way she takes a line and makes it fit where it doesn't sound meant to fit. Where she takes a line and there's a silence before the thought is complete. I'm trying to think, do her other albums do this? I don't think so. See's always had a problem pronoucing things correctly, but it's so unbelievably overpowering that it's had for me to not only understand that words, but it just grates on my nerves. Why? Why so much?

I was ready to be disappointed, I was, but then there were the good reviews and I started to hope. Stupid hope. I think this may place far below Beekeeper for me, I hate to say that, but at least Beekeeper has moments and the album seems cohesive and there seems be a connectedness through the album, even if it was a tad boring.

This is just...weird. It's weird. I don't know what else to call it. It definitely is more interesting, but seriously, the song "Posse Bonus" which I guess is a bonus track, the lyrics are "Here's your posse bonus/Because I li-i-i-i-ke you" It sounds almost like a joke. Like she was goofing off at the piano and they kept the tape rolling and decided it was a good song. It's not.

It seems uninspired. I mean, think for a minute "Space Dog" and then "You can Bring Your Dog", "Mr Bad Man", "Fat Slut" and the list goes on.

"He’s a bad man/ Mr. Bad Man/ And she had enough of him/ So the walls try/ To dry her eyes/ Cause the bad man/ Made her cry" Seriously. I think I wrote poetry like this in 9th grade. Or course poetry and songs are quite different. This song almost has a Beatles-eque quality, but also a little "Wednesday" sound to it. It's sounds unresolved.

My first listen through, nothing really grabbed me. Of course I was at work, working, so there's that, but it couldn't hold my attention. Most of the songs seem very background music, nothing that's going to make anyone go "Whoa! What's this?"

I think Tori is doing her thing, and that's great, but it's not really a good record. I'm bored with the whole "I took on the persona of this other woman to write this song" but after a while, it just doesn't ring true. I think she's glad to distance herself from the songs, but it's making them less interesting.

There are also guitars. In almost every song apparently. Hmmph. I think it's not really helping. I'm almost embarrassed about it, like if I buy it, I'll be the one if dark glasses and I'll pay cash. I'm trying. I'm listening to it still. I want something to grab me. Please.

Also, why the wigs? I get it for the "other" characters, but she needs a wig to be "Tori"? Maybe it's the chunky bangs, but I hate it. It bugs me.

Seacrest out.

Crappy Days

So Hayley's been having some poop issues. Let's just get it out there - she's no longer having little solid poops, it's gone back to being not solid.
So yesterday morning I was getting ready for work, she had woken up and was playing in her crib as she usually does when she wakes up for a bit. I was almost ready to go and she started to fuss, so went in.
That's when I found my daughter in a pile of poop.
Her diaper had not contained the leakage and it was all over her sheet, her and the floor. It must have just happened to, because as I walked in was the exact moment she took her chubby, clean hand and stuff it in the poop.
So she got to go straight into the big people tub to get hosed off, she thought this was pretty funny. I am meanwhile rinsing off sheets, and scrubbing the carpet and hoping the oxyclean is good for poop stains.
It was fun.
Today I was expecting it so I put her in a fitted diaper and it worked like a charm. See, I can be taught!

I think the poop might be, in part, due to the fact that she won't eat anything. Not anything! I tried to force her to eat sweet potatoes and she ate one bite. And then spit it out. She loves those baby cookies, so i got one of those and put some sweet potato on it. So now she doesn't like those either. I tried to give her a another one to see if she's be okay if it didn't taste like sweet potatoes, but no. She threw it on the ground. Awesome. It's fine. I'm sure that most fifteen year olds these days are taking their bottle with them to class.

I suppose that some people don't' want to read about my child's bowel issues, but really, what else would I write about?

Stop me if you think that you've heard this one before...

I'm pretty awesome today.
The local radio station www.1019theend.com was having a contest to win Morrissey tickets. You just had to name the 3 songs they played. Since I listen online at work, there is a delay, so I went out to my car to listen to them. I also decided that I should have my little sister who was home sick today, also call in so we'd double our chances of winning. I told her all the song titles (since she's not the biggest fan, or really a fan at all) and when all was said and done we both called in. My stupid cellphone decided in the middle of the redial that since I'd been sitting in the same spot for 10 minutes, hadn't moved and had made 3 calls from this locations in the last few minutes, that now I was roaming, so I freaked out and was trying to call and had to dial long distance and everything, that's when little sister called and told me that she won! Hurrah for me being the smartest person ever!
I'm glad I waited to buy Morrissey tickets now, although I still may buy a floor ticket if these are for upper seating, which they probably are, since those are cheaper. But still, I'm rocking it at Morrissey! Suck on that ticketmaster!
Now I'm just trying to decide if I want to keep trying for more tickets tomorrow and the rest of the week so that all my cool friends can come with me, or if I should let other people win. Other people who may or may not deserve to bask in the glory that is Moz.
We'll see. "It may all end tomorrow, or it could gone on forever-in which case I'm doomed"

7 Months

Well, little girl, it’s been an interesting month. You are starting to be mobile! You’re not quite crawling and you can’t yet go forward (much to your annoyance) but you can scoot backwards, but you haven’t figured out how to use this to your advantage. You’re starting to realize that you can control if you’re up or down and so we’re getting lots of little tumbles and some squealing when you want something and can’t figure out how to get it.

Sleeping! Oh the sleep! It’s terrible trying to put you to sleep, you still fight it not matter how tired you are, but once you’re asleep you’re staying asleep! Sometimes we can sleep until 7! But if you do wake up earlier, you will usually go back to sleep! It’s really been happy days, for me at least.

Let’s talk about teeth. I think your first tooth is coming in. I hope that’s what it is, since you’ve been kind of sick today. The best way to bring in your 7 month birthday would of course be to throw up on your mom and her newly changed sheets, so let’s blame the teeth. But there is no evidence yet, but that may explain your need for Tylenol every 4-6 hours. But the odd thing is your drool faucet has been turned way down. You don’t dribble everywhere like you use to. I’m fine with that, but it is totally weird.

So food, or the lack thereof. You love the little toddler biscuits, but you don’t like anything else. Anything. Ever. I was trying to give you bananas last night, last time you loved them, couldn’t get enough of them. Then, before the spoon got anywhere near your mouth, you pulled a face. You hadn’t even tasted it! You frustrate me with this. I keep trying to give you food and I keep having to wash it down the sink because you won’t eat it. You won’t eat more than 1 forced spoonful. Look, you’re going to love food someday; you’re supposed to be eating something at this point. I think you’re supposed to have 2 little meals everyday. I can’t get you to eat one spoonful of baby rice. I’m not sure what to do. Maybe I should just let you feed yourself, but then you’ll probably just put it in your hair.

Grandma Connie keeps cutting your hair. “Trimming” she calls it, but every week your baby hawk is a little bit shorter and straighter. It’s a good thing that very soon I’ll be watching you on Fridays. Very soon I won’t be the person you only see on Saturdays and Sundays, now I’ll have almost as much face-time as your babysitter! Maybe you will remember that I’m your mommy! We’ll have such lovely 3-day weekends together, of course I won’t see very much of you doing the rest of the week, after those nasty 10 hour days. I’m sure we’ll manage.

This weekend I took you out for a walk in your stroller. Grandma’s taken you out before, but I wasn’t there, so it was our first walk together. You loved it, just watching the grass and the gardens pass by, you sat forward and gripped the front of your stroller like you were hanging on for dear life, it was adorable. You just don’t want to miss a thing by sitting back.

You’re talking a lot more and of course being hysterical. You know what you want, but you just don’t know how to get it yet, but I’m sure given only a small amount of motor control, you’ll be taking over the world.

I Like This Boy, He Likes Me Back-I Don't Know Why

I've been meaning to update, but I've been so busy. I mean, Brittney Spears has been wearing different hats every time she leaves the house! So it's hard to keep up with everything.
Yesterday, I pulled the plug. I came home as usual and watched the Simpsons, but then since there was nothing on, I turned off the TV! It was weird. I had dinner made about 20 minutes before Husband was even home! and then I did the dishes! It was crazy. It was almost as if, without the loving glow of the TV, I was able to have a life and move one. But it's too bad I can't test this theory tonight, I mean, House is on tonight! Which means I'll have to also watch American Idol. Last week I decided that the Manjina kid is the smartest. He can't really sing very well, but everyone knows his name. He is mentioned on radio, tv, Internet. It doesn't matter that he's fairly lame, everyone knows which one he is, even if they hate him. He has won the media war. I'm voting for Blake, he's the only thing that keeps me interested in this silly competition.

I'm on a diet. So I'm starving. I'm just eating fruit and vegetables and protein. So what does husband do? He calls me last night (after I've made a delicious stir fry with veggies and more veggies!) and says we should have strawberry pancakes! Because they are full of wheaty goodness! Not at all covered with sugar or butter or happiness at all! I love him, but he really doesn't have any idea what being really healthy is. How is it that he made it to 30 years old and doesn't know that pancakes aren't in most diets? I wish I was a boy, then I could not worry about my expanding waist because I would just wear my pants lower, no biggie.

Now onto life drama. With a twinkle in my eye I thought of how great it would be to be a stay at home mom. I figured that time would come quickly after Husband landed that perfect job. I was thinking May would work. Well, this job is less than perfect. It's very weather dependent and so there have been days that Husband hasn't worked at all and of course, did not get paid either. So May was a pipe dream. So maybe June, maybe then. With Husband's job he can work as much as he wants in the summer. He could work 18 hour days and work 7 days a week. He could make so much money! I could quit! But then things would get cold and wet and then the money would not keep pouring in. I don't think he could make enough money to pay for everything this summer and still save enough for us to make it through those lean winter months. I'm a bit jaded I guess. I suppose some people never have the opportunity to stay home with their kids, so the idea that Husband is working toward that would seem very noble, but I'm a glass is half empty kinda gal and all I see is that maybe I won't get to be home this summer and maybe not next summer either. I guess I should be grateful for what I have, but I've always been in the boat where when people ask me what my career goals are I want to say "full-time mom," and society tells me that being a mother isn't important because someday your spouse might die or leave and then where would you be? While I agree an education is important and every woman should pursue gaining a college degree, isn't it also important to raise your children? Someone has to do it, whether it be the babysitter, the daycare, the TV or someone else, they are going to grow up with something influencing their formative years, why is it should a bad thing for that to be their mother? "but taking time off work to raise children will mean when you re-enter the workforce you will be taking a pay cut and be passed over for higher end jobs" OK, so what if I want to be a mother? But that's not acceptable, it's not important and the pay is crappy.

Okay, I guess I should rant more about that later!

Dooced!

What I wouldn't give to be fired for my blog, because then I would get unemployment.
I almost feel like naming names and posting links. But since I only have one reader (Hi! You're shoes are pretty!) I doubt saying anything would lead to my doocing.
I also like that www.dooce.com is a fun read. She's living the dream. Getting paid for blogging AND having a term coined in your honor. I wish that I could do that. Maybe I'll post a PayPal button and that one reader can fund my writing habit (do you have enough money to help me pay for my house payment? no? well I still like your shoes)
Stupid boss keeps prancing around being lame. Stop the lameness. I already stuck pins in my voodoo doll for you.

The Soul Crushing-ness of it All

I do one thing at work. Only one thing. I look at forms and say either 'yes' or 'no' and nothing else. What I hate is when I say no. There are laws regarding this, I abide by them. There are deadlines. I try to work with those who are close. But honestly, when a deadline has passed by 16 months, I am less then sympathetic. I am within my rights and the policy to say no, but then all you have to do is talk to my bosses boss. Even when he says he's on the same page with me, he then turns around and I find that not only are we not on the same page, we're not even in the same book. This makes me look like an idiot to those customers. It also means that the months of bickering and being told that I'm unfair and the usual "lawyering-up" that some threaten and I have to deal with, is all for naught. My opinion and decision is overturned. I get to smile and nod and pretend like I agree too, when I would rather beat my head against the wall in frustration. So why should I even tell anyone 'no' when it doesn't matter? It also makes me frustrated because the people that are told 'no' for the same reason and they accept it when someone else just fights hard enough and they get their 'no' turned magically to a 'yes.'
Today I hate everyone. I hate this job. I hate the lack of structure and rules and really the blatant disregard for policy. I suppose I can just start telling people we have no policy on the matter and anyone with a compelling argument will be considered. I think that would work. Or perhaps I can stop reading through these forms and just get a big stamp that says YES and stamp them all as I receive them. Because here we care nothing for what the rules say, we're all about serving the loud and mean and obnoxious people.
That's what I hate about kids/people today, the sense of entitlement. The whole unearned confidence thing. People don't need to do what's required of them, if the holler loud enough and feel like the deserve something, they expect that we hand it to them. People that treat us poorly because they don't like working at Store X or think that at the place of our employment they they can treat us like crap because we're being paid to take it.
And I will. I can't leave. I need the money.
A few weeks ago when I was thinking that the time to be a stay-at home mom was right around the corner, I knew in my that I wanted to walk into my bosses office and say "Since you're so good at my job, why don't you continue to do it. I quit." This is a pipe dream. I get to tell them instead that "yes, it's totally fine, I will overturn my decision because you feel that the spirit of the law has been met, even if the letter of the law hasn't been." It's fine. I'm just dying inside a little bit every time this happens. But soon I'll have no fire or spirit and sense of self left. Isn't that what corporate America is all about?

Has it really come?

The weekend has passed with some reoccurance of the Bad Wife. I don't know what it is, but Husband and I have just been snotty to each other, then we move on but then it happens again. Maybe this is what happens when Husband doesn't get his birthday steak. You would think that my beautiful card that I made myself on the computer at work that took me all of 10 minutes from start to finish and had money inside would have stopped all this. MONEY! Doesn't that say "I love you and want you to buy whatever your heart desires" more than something that he told me to buy him? I don't know, maybe it's the lack of red meat affecting his system.
Princess Girl had her 6 month photos taken. She's precious, but I'm glad that I got out of there only spending $20 instead of the $100 that we spent when she was 2 months old. I'm definately going to need more frames.
I also discovered that the shoes I have in my head are not for purchase anywhere in the world. I have been all over the internet and the mall and have found nothing that looks like what I see in my mind. I really wish that there was a website where I could design my own shoe.
Additional: Babies don't like Hot Topic. They really don't like having to sit in thier carseat after leaving Hot Topic. You are warned.

Steven (You Don't Eat Meat)

Thank you Erika. I'm now totally jazzed to buy Morrissey tickets tomorrow. We started goofing off on youtube and now I'm just watching all my favorites. I had no idea that he ever performed 'Jack the Ripper' live. That man puts on a great show. It's kind of sad to see the progression to old Morrissey. He used to be that dapper lad with daffodils and now he's just filled out so much. He's still in really good shape, but the year have definitely aged him. Even just a few years ago there's such a difference.

Why do idols have to get old? What happened to the good old days when they all died of drug overdoses? I think one reason that Hendricks and Morrison have the following and love that they still do because they left beautiful corpses. There was no "Gosh, he got old and fat and now his music seems irrelevant" phase that most musicians slip into. of course there are some people that will never stop. I'm sure that Mick Jagger has made a deal with the devil so that even though he actually died seven years ago, he still keeps touring and rocking it, zombie style. Either that or he's a vampire. He's the undead of some kind.

But Morrissey, geez, he still looks good and has aged well, and Quarry was even a pretty good album. The single from the new album "You Have Killed Me" is stellar, but I don't know whether the rest is. I haven't bought it. I know, I've only had about a year to do it, but I don't go hang out in record stores anymore, poring over what albums I need to own. Perhaps it's the new grown-up in me saying that paying bills is more important that music. Crazy, I know.

I do try to keep current somewhat, but I suppose those old favorites will always be favorites. There's no way Snow Patrol or Death Cab is going to topple Morrissey from his pedestal, no matter how old he is, even if he's tottering around the stage with his walker crooning "Everyday is Like Sunday" and it won't matter that his face is all sunken and old, he'll still be amazing. And every time I look at my birthday card from Erika, I will all the sudden have "Unhappy birthday" stuck in my head for the next hour and I will savor it.

Joining the New America

So I've finally done it.
I've watched American Idol since season 2, sometimes religiously, sometimes when the other show I'm watching is on a commercial break, but last night I finally voted.
I'm sorry, I couldn't help it That goth girl Gina sang a Pretenders song! Here's a link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwYn5t6uakM She sang beautifully. I had to vote for her, because how awesome would it be if the next American Idol was a goth chick? I have a soft spot in my heart for those cute goth chicks. I did used to be one.
That Blake kid did The Cure's 'Lovesong' but didn't do an amazing job in my opinion, but I still voted for him once, because that was a awesome song choice and he did do a 311 song that I remember from my Jr High days. If you want to see his performance it's here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUl9Kvhh1tk

The Bad Wife Syndrome

Yes, now that you mention it, I do hate you. Since the day we got married, I've been looking for ways to finally show that. That's why I can't be bothered to put away my hair and face cleaning supplies in the bathroom. It has nothing to do with the fact that I'm usually running late for work and even though it would only take a few seconds to put everything away, and I'm usually just concerned with whether or not I remembered to put on deodorant before I make a mad dash for the car and away I go. Really, it's done out of spite. Just like the way I make your dinner-full of spite. I'm surprised you can swallow it! And how I clean the dishes maliciously. I know that since you won't be cooking the next meal, I am selfishly cleaning the pots and pans and forks and spoons so that I can use them.
I only married you so that I can have something to blog about, naturally.

Hello 6 months!

This has been a nice month for you. You’re getting so much better at all your tricks. You can sit up with little assistance and as long as you aren’t reaching for something too far away you generally don’t fall over, so good for you! You finally rolled over this week! And I was there to see it! You probably roll over all the time at the sitters, but this is the first one that I’ve heard about so we’ll say it’s the first. It was cute. You were sitting there on your tummy and then all the sudden you were on your back looking up at me like “that was weird.”


You’re really getting good at the rice cereal and I’ve feed you pears. You don’t care much for the plain pears so I’ve been mixing them into the cereal and you just scrum it up. You’re eating almost ¼ cup of cereal a day, which is great, but I don’t think it’s helping you sleep any longer. We’re still having our one a night feeding and it’s really old. I tried formula for 2 nights to see how that would work and boy howdy it’s lots more work. At 2 am. I’m not about making more work for myself at 2 am so we’ll see how this goes. But I know that your grandparents are feeding you contraband. My mother gave you ice cream. Ice cream. Made from cows milk. I think you mostly spit it out, but still, I know you’ve had gravy and who knows what else. I hope you don’t end up allergic to everything. If you do, it’s totally grandma’s fault.


Before smiles were fleeting and hard to get from you (unless you were looking at grandpa, that man can make any baby do his bidding, I think he has some kind of evil ray) but now smiles are abundant and with them can come real laughs. I don’t care how much you laugh, it always makes me giggle too, which makes you laugh harder. It’s pretty funny.


I think you’re not growing quite as fast as you were, but we’ll find out for sure tomorrow when we head to the doctors and they poke you and make you cry and maybe me too. Jerks.
The weather is really starting to warm up so you’re spending more time hanging out in your onesies with no socks on. It’s funny because now we can all see your chub rolls.


You are still very friendly, which is good because I hear that in a few months you’ll be less social but you’ll all ready know all your babysitters.
I’m trying hard to teach you to talk (big emphasis on mamama, so learn that one) but you’ll have none of it. You’re all about the ‘ah’ with the sometimes ‘ga.’ But I now know when those people on American Idol say “I was singing before I could talk” that it’s a bunch of crap. They were making long vowel sounds before they could talk, which is no indicator of vocal greatness. But I’m sure you’ll win American Idol season 35 when you’re 18 and I’ll think you’re amazing now matter what. You mostly practice your American idol tryouts on the changing table. I don’t know what it is about having a naked butt that makes you so noisy, but even when you’re half asleep in the middle of the night you still like to start singing. It makes me giggle.


It’s still tearing me up that you have your other mothers while I’m working at a job that means less than nothing to me while you grow up without me. We spend some good time together in the evenings before bed, but I still I miss so much. I feel bad for Daddy because he is working so much and I know that he misses you, yet he still doesn’t want to wake up and feed you at 3 am, he’s funny that way.


We’ve made it half a year now and so far so good, baby. Now that your 6 month probationary period is over with, I think that we’ll keep you.

Love you pretty girl,
Mama

Made you out of clay

So I found a dreidel this morning in the parking lot. I walked passed it, but knew that I had to turn back because I've always wanted my own dreidel! So picked it up. It is not so awesome, it looks like it's been abused, but I shall love it until the day I forget about it or throw it away.

I'm.......back!

So, can you believe that I completely forgot about blogger when I was looking for new blogging environments? I've been using myspace like a moron! I haven't posted here for almost 2 years! incredible. Although I remember not liking the little hoops I had to jump through it get a new entry posted, I know now that myspace is the worst, most terrible way to be blogging, so i guess from now on, I'll just post a link to my blogger site when I make a new entry. I doubt I have that many friends anyway.

But don't worry, I'm cooking up a post for my daughter's 6 month birthday! it should be good reads all the way around. But for now, just bask in her glory. Wow look how little she used to be!

Five Months

Little girl, you're not so little anymore. You are positively heavy when I'm trying to lift you and your monster car seat. Of course I had to have the bigger seat because it was so darn cute, I didn't know it was also impractical. Your personality is also getting bigger. The screaming is wearing thin, but now the giggles are commonplace and you love attention (just like your mommy!) You're starting to be okay playing by yourself in the mornings. I'll walk past your room and see that you're completely awake and just looking quietly at your hands or watching the world or me.
Being back at work I feel like I miss so much, I miss you during the day while I'm gone and when I get home in the evening you need constant attention or you get pretty cranky, not like the mornings when you're mostly an angel (I don't know what dad is talking about when he tells me you won't let him put you down and he can't get anything done.)
You're still anti-tummy time but I refuse to let your hollering dissuade me from letting you build muscles in your back. I think your lack of lots of tummy time is one reason why you don't roll over yet. Have I mentioned that I worry about that everyday? I do. I know that every child develops at different rates, but I'm sure that you are absolutely refusing to become mobile in any way shape or form because you want us at your beck and call to move you, or reposition you or take you to new places. If you're still not moving at 9 months, you're on your own kid, no way I'm carting you around forever.
You are starting to outgrow some of your 6 month clothes and I'm so sad. You had so many cute outfits, once your into your 9 month outfit, half your closet will be boxed up and then I may have to start buying you new outfits rather than relying on the shower gifts! I'm trying to talk daddy into actually putting you into an outfit each day or changing you from yesterdays outfit, but he baulks at that since most of the time he refuses to put your pants back on after a diaper change as you're just going to get wet again, why bother? Boys. You'll learn that they are very lazy.
You started solid foods! Sort of. About 2 weeks ago I gave you the tiniest bit of rice cereal mixed with so much formula that it was probably more like soup than solids, but you're just learning, I figure it's all solid for you. The first few time I don't think you swallowed very much, but now you've decided that you want to gnaw on the spoon when I stick it in your mouth, so I think more of the cereal is making it to the back of your throat. Someone suggested that I get one of those bottle-things that you can use for solid mushy foods, but really, if you're suppose to be learning what to do with the solid foods, doesn't that defeat the purpose? Your not underweight, you eat fine, so I'm not going to force feed you. You can thank me later.
We're looking into daycare. We haven't approached Abuela Virginia yet but chances are we are going to have to leave you in the care of strangers at least a few days a week once daddy finds employment. And unfortunately it could be a long term decision, or around a year anyway. I know that lots of moms have to work outside the home to help support the family, but I don't want to have to one of them, I'm just praying that dad finds something that can support all of us, and soon.
It's been a great 5 months, you're growing healthy and strong, and you're a delightful little snot who makes me laugh everyday. Although I already miss snuggly little newborn Hayley, I'm excited to hang out with the new little person that you're becoming.
Love,
Mama

Welcome to month 4

Hayley,
This last month has been so much fun but it is also the ending of my being there for you almost all the time. I go back to work full-time tomorrow and I'm really sad about that. I know I'm going to miss so many moments.
Like when you laughed a real laugh on the 18th. Usually you still giggle and squeal, but that was a real laugh, when I caught you unsuspectingly with a quick tickle.
You've grown so much, I'm just hoping to get through all your different outfits at least once before you've outgrown them. You're almost twice as big as when you were born.
You've gotten your first tastes of real food with peppermint crème and syrup and you sucked on a cantaloupe and pulled such a face, so obviously, just like mommy, you're not a fan of that melon.
You still love to stand and always want everyone to let you see what's going on. You're such a happy baby, especially in the mornings. You will watch sometimes just watch me workout and think it's the best thing. You still love the TV and I'm thinking that you dad and I are going to need to limit our TV consumption so that you're less of a junkie. That's how much we love you; we'll sacrifice watching TV which is one of our favorite things.
Your little personality is just thriving. You love to gurgle and be the center of attention. You're okay with strangers most of the time and you really love your grandmas and every time Grandpa Larry says "what do you say to grandpa?" you get a huge smile on your face.
You've already turned your dad into a puddle of goo, he'll ignore people who are trying to have conversations with him so he can talk to you and play with you.
You love to kick your legs and squirm whenever you get your diaper changed and you love having naked time. I've tricked you whenever you take a bath, I drain the water and let you think you're still playing while I dry you off so that you aren't too upset to be removed from your play time.
You're grabbing at things, but it seems you always get my knife or fork when I'm trying to eat. You have little dagger fingernails that you scratch me with will trying to grab my arm.
I can't wait to see what you do this month.
Love you!
Mom

3 months

Hayley,
This has been a really good month. Your screaming time has gone down considerably and now you really smile. Real smiles. You know me and sometimes I'm the only one who can calm you down and get you to sleep. Of course some nights only Daddy can do that, but mostly it's me. You're starting to sleep for longer periods of time at night. Almost through the whole night depending on when you ate. It's blissful to wake up and it's 5 am instead of 2 am.
Your hair is growing but not very fast and I'm still unable to get that ponytail elastic into your hair.
You spend lots of time with your grandparents. They take turns like good grandparents and each get you once a week while I'm at work.
You really don't like your car seat, you made me carry you through the store yesterday and boy, you're a heavy little snot.
At your 2 month appointment you were 11 1/2 pounds and I'm sure you are much heavier now, although it doesn't seem like you eat very well, you must be doing something right. Although maybe the milk just has so much chocolate running through it, maybe you only need a sip.
You are bigger then the other girls your age and I'm starting to have to box up some of your newborn outfits. You love taking a bath and spend the time staring at your beautiful reflection in the mirror.
We're liking the cloth diaper thing still and even Grandpa Larry will put them on you.
Aunt Summer babysits you often and you aren't very good for her most of the time, but for some reason she still thinks that you're cute.
You sit in your little chair and bat at the little animal rattles and love it, your coordination is getting much better and you almost always hit one if you wack at them. You're getting so close to giggling, it's like it's just on the tip of your tongue but you can't figure it out yet. You're also a TV junkie, you really love that happy picture box of people always talking to you and bright colors. There goes our resolution to not let you watch too much TV.
This month has been great and it's only getting better.
love you,
Mom

The Endless Succession

The shrimp told me to. And when I say “the shrimp” I’m not talking about the guy that works on the second floor who should think more seriously about platform shoes. I’m talking about the little pink guys that live in the ocean. Last Thursday I was watching The Apprentice, as I always do on Thursdays, when my program was interrupted by a message. It was the shrimp. I received a message that they need liberation from the fish-eaters down at red lobster and other sea food offering restaurants. I was sure this was a joke, a farce; someone was going to pop out from behind the curtains and tell me I was on candid camera. But no such luck. Then the shrimp spoke my name. (Oh? Didn’t you think shrimp could speak? They have tiny voices that they amplify with voice box speakers. These mostly fail to work under the water, so most fresh caught shrimp do not have their amplifiers with them to tell the fisherman to release them.) I knew that this was no laughing matter. I was given my instructions.
Let me tell you something about shrimp. They are idealists, the whole lot of them. They believe in peace and work in nonviolent ways to accomplish their goals, but they have watched our kind and the ways we behave. They’ve studied us for centuries, because the only way to defeat your enemy is to understand him. For years after mankind started walking around the shrimp watched us with amusement. They had been a civilized society for thousands of years before we ever picked up a rock. When man began fishing the shrimp became aware of the threat to the ocean. They personally weren’t threatened as our fishing techniques were very primitive and they only had to worry about us stepping on them at that time. But then we started tools and fire and it all went down hill from there.

The hang of Thursdays

Never in all my life have I been so miserable.
Naw, just teasing, I've been more miserable at times. But the whole work drama is sucking the will to live right out of me. Stupid old people! You heard me! I hate old people! Well, not entirely. I like my grandparents and what not. I even like that old lady at church that is always talking too loudly and saying rude things in the middle of lessons.

I'm going to go back to the work thing. Projects and what not.

The New Frontier

So it's a new month, I should update this thing. I guess. If I have to.

I don't think I have much to say. Pity.

Life the universe and everything is continuing in a fairly straight forward way. Arthur would be so pleased. But it's not yet Thursday. I could never get the hang of Thursdays.