Berlin, Baby

It was Friday night. I had just gotten home and dinner was in the oven. Then Erika calls and says Berlin is playing in Park City later that night and we should totally go. I agreed, mostly because I needed a night out, but I was stressed as I didn’t know how quickly I could finish dinner, get ready put the child to bed and go. I was also thinking that I would probably only know about 2 Berlin songs, but Erika and I would find a way to make it fun.
Getting ready for a concert takes time and effort, neither of which I had. I wanted to be a bit eighties so I threw on a bright red shirt and tried to be slimming by wearing black pants.
Erika and I headed up the canyon. It was a nice drive because it was so late in the evening. The doors didn’t open until 9 and when Erika had called, we found out that Berlin wouldn’t even be taking the stage until after eleven.
When we had almost gotten there I pulled out the newspaper with the ad in it to find the address. That’s when I saw this concert was for the Park City Prom Night. I’d heard just a little about that and thought it was awesome! I wanted to go and wear a bridesmaids dress or something super cool and 80’s. Doh! Hopefully next year! We went in and they were spinning 80’s tunes and there was a small dance floor! Erika and I got our picture taken and wanted it to be a true prom picture and I think it turned out that way.
Neither of us were prepared to be dancing our little butts off, but it was so fun! It was like going to the club on 80’s night and having no one else on the dance floor! Mostly it was me, Erika and some skanky lady grinding against her boy toy. But it was super fun! They played George Michael’s “Faith” and I totally shook my booty for it. There was an opening band. They mostly played 80’s covers, which was awesome, but they mixed in there own songs a little, which weren’t awesome. But if I had known there were really people like that, I would have had them play at my wedding! Of course then the colors would have had to be hot pink and turquoise to fit the theme, but fun!
During the opening band the “dance floor” got pretty packed but Erika and I ended up state right at the very front. Then Berlin. Terri Nunn came out in a cute coat and started the rocking with “Masquerade.” Everyone thinks of the song from Top Gun when they think of Berlin, but because I watch a lot of VH1, I knew that song was the reason that band broke up, because they hated playing it because really Berlin is a new wave punk band. But I didn’t know how hard they would rock! Terri was coming to the very front of the stage and the crowd went nuts, we could have reached out and touched her. She almost hit me with the microphone once. It was sweet. I didn’t recognize all the songs, but we also heard “No More Words”, “Sex (I’m a…)”, “Shiny”, “Hideaway” and during “The Metro” she sat on the speaker right in front of us and held Erika’s hand and Erika being totally flustered but her other hand on her knee! Mostly Erika was just trying to remember the words to the song, so we could look like real fans.
They played a cover of a Prince song, but I don’t like Prince, but I was excited for Erika, she does like Prince. I was excited to hear her play Depeche Mode's "Never Let me Down Again", she also played a very slow acoustic version of Duran Duran’s “Come Undone” which she said she added to the setlist after her mother passed away. IT was sweet but she was sitting in a chair, with her legs open. In a short skirt. You see where I’m going with this? Luckily she was wearing tights (which were grey and awesome), so basically it was just trying not to look at her crotch, since we were at that just right angle. But Terri looked amazing, absolutely gorgeous. She’s aged incredibly well and now me and Erika have girl crushes on her. I was very impressed with her energy. At one point she got on the shoulders of a security guard and went through the crowd a little. She was such a rock star! There was a little musical interlude. The keyboardist played a song while Terri had a costume change. She came back all gothed out! She was wearing a corset and these awesome high heeled boots with the toes and heels cut out! We were so close that not only could we see that she has a mole on the side of her stomach, we could have also touched it! Eww!
The very last song was “Take my Breath Away” and it was really lovely, but kind of out of place. But I was very impressed because Terri had been screaming and doing all the rock singing all night, but her voice on this song was soaring and flawless. For the encore Terri came out with a black feather boa and asked if we wanted to dance. Then she told the people up front to climb onto the stage and dance with her! I went totally retarded but I was all about that! The security guard reached down for my hand, but then I didn’t know how to pull myself up without using both hands, so the poor guy had to dang me onto the stage while I flopped like a fish. I have some nasty bruises on my thigh from it! But I got a bright pink boa and while the stage was pretty crowded, I was up on stage dancing with Terri Nunn while she performed! Unfortunately it was a cover of that Mason Song “Dope Show” and I didn’t have to listen, I just had to dance! It was super sweet. Unfortunately I was not a genius and left my camera at home. Erika was able to get one decent picture on her ancient cell phone camera, but it doesn’t do justice to just how close we were to her. If I had brought my camera, I’d have evidence of the mole!
It was such an incredible night, Erika and I left on a major high. Even getting pulled over and told that ‘stop signs look the same from the east coast to the west coast’ didn’t put a damper on our excitement!
Berlin, I’d definitely see you in concert again!

Someone Looks More Like Mommy!

MyHeritage: Family trees - Genealogy - Celebrities - Collage - Morph

Holy Crap! I've been Tagged!

Okay, so Tari tagged me! Of course I had stopped reading her blog because she never updated it, and then when i wasn't looking, she tagged me!
So I'll try to do this some justice.

10 Years Ago: I was going to college at Westminster and living at home and probably working for Convergys where I would try and retain just a little piece of my soul before they crushed it all out. I was all sorts of dark and depressing too, don't forget that.

5 Things On My To-Do List: Read some more blogs, get a better job, go to my stupid weight lifting class, look busy, make some awesome Salmon Pasta for dinner!

5 Snacks I Enjoy: What snacks do I not enjoy? Marshmallows, hostess cakes of any kind, Ranch Wheat Thins, chocolate, ice cream (what? Desserts = snacks to me!)

5 Places I've Lived: Murray City, UT, Littleton CO, Orlando FL, Sandy UT and Taylorsville UT

What Would I Do if I Suddenly Became a Billionaire: After I gave my job the finger (metaphorically, of course) I would buy a huge house, with a pool and hire a personal chef and trainer. I would buy a really cool car like a mini or some Hybrid so that while I look down on the poor people I can feel that I'm doing good things for the environment.
After that, I may spread the wealth, give family and poor people some money or whatever, but that's after I'm earning like $50,000 a day on the interest from the loads of cash I have in the bank!

5 Jobs I've Had: Residency Approver, Refund Issuer, Customer Phone-In Punching Bag, Sales Clerk for Big Box Company, Cash Register-Runner for the Little Guy

5 Things You Don't Know About Me: That I'm a chronic liar (or am I?) I love Hannah Montana! (Hey! Some people might not know!) That I have a phone phobia when talking to strangers. That INVU because URAQT! My head is filled with so much celebrity info that I can't remember why I headed into the kitchen.

Now I tag: Whoever! I don't want to put any pressure on anyone unduly, so just if you feel the urge, post some randomness about yourself!

Can It Be? 18 Months?

Oh my little girl, you are SO big now! You said with clear distinction "Shoe" yesterday. You are starting to really mimic things we say, or at least try to, where you used to stop talking if we tried to get you to repeat a word. Now you know that you're trying to communicate!
Easter was a blast! We did a little "practice round" with the plastic eggs in the living room, but boy were you happy to find these little treasures outside! You looked so adorable in your little pink dress and you curls running around in the bright morning light and finding all the (completely unhidden) eggs. You were even happier to find out that in some eggs, there was chocolate. And the heavens opened and the angels wept with joy.

You are now officially in nursery at church so your father can quit being such a baby about how hard it is to watch you, because I have to watch 4 kids you are so much worse! But I actually have to try and teach those kids something, at least with you, it's all about making sure you don't scream too loudly. But with our first week in nursery comes the first week of getting the Treat Bucket. I have to fill it with nutritious snacks for babies. I can't get you to eat any nutritious snacks, so I don't see why other people's kids should get anything from me!
Speaking of eating, I don't know what to think of you. I thought I figured out the trick to getting you to eat macaroni (ketchup!) but the trick only worked once, you have now figured out my game. I was so clever, I kept giving you things to dip into your ketchup and you would eat them! Now you just eat the ketchup and throw the food onto the floor. Thanks for that by the way.

You are so getting more lovely (possibly because of the hunger pains you must be feeling) but you hug! you hug me! Usually it's you hugging other people and trying not to actually touch me, but the other day you ran up to me and put your stubby little arms around my legs and it wasn't because you were afraid of something! Hurrah!
Now that you are starting to grow out of your 18 month sized clothing we've hit a snag. There aren't too many items of clothing in the next bigger size. And what we do have, is definitely summer wear. And March? It's not very summer-like. So I'm hoping that you can squeeze that tummy into your old clothes for just a little while longer while I figure out how to make a weeks worth of outfits out of 2 outfits. I think it might take some cash and going to the baby section in ShopKo (they have the cutest stuff!)

With the approaching warm weather comes "doing things outside" and so I've been trying to take you outside more whenever I'm home. You love it. There is nothing funnier that you running down the sidewalk. Although it gets less cute when you are headed for the street, which is where you always head. Which is weird. i know the yard is not green and lush, but it's got to be better than blacktop, right? So keeping you in the backyard is a must, behind the fence. Your fascination with rocks and the sprinkler heads is good watching. I think you'll definitely be a rock collector when you've out grown trying to put them into your mouth.

It's been a hard and interesting month, but you're weathering the storm quite well!

Love ya!

Mama

Laugh like you mean it

Looky Daddy had this post and it was so funny that even though my boss was waking past my desk at the exact same moment, I still had to laugh outloud. Good times.

Newness Squared

Okay, I just wanted to draw attention to my new masthead. Most of you have already seen it, but I just have such a little crush on it. I love the colors and the way that things blend (except that part that doesn't. Curse you Photoshop!) I seriously spent a lot of time this weekend just staring at it. That was of course, when I wasn't staring at my new fish (see how this works, when the fish are interesting, they are mine, when they are lame, they are Husband's.)

Did I mention the new fish? My brother, who is a fish expert, heard that we only clean our tank once or twice a year and almost had heart failure right there. I guess we're suppose to clean it every week. Every week? Are you kidding? When we had a cat, he was lucky if we cleaned the litterbox every week and that thing stank! The fish tank doesn't bother us if it's all grimey, because we're like that. Anyway, my brother came over on Saturday and helped to clean it. He also knew that most of our non-guppy fish had died/were eaten and so took me and Hayley to the pet store to view fish. My brother spent a lot more time diciding what out tank needed then I even thought possible. Meanwhile Hayley was trying to run through the store and take things off the shelves. Note to self: No trip inside a store is ever too short not to get a cart.
So after getting 3 bags full of different fish our tank is full to the rafters. There are 3 fish that zoom back and forth and up and down all day long. If I had known there were fish like this, I would have gotten some long ago, because these fish, they make it so interesting to stare at the tank. I spend a good 15 minutes Saturday night just watching the fish. Not the the TV, not playing with my daughter or reading a book. Watching the fish swim. Back and forth and back again. I think it's probably just that I'm easily entertained now that I watch so much Hannah Montana on the Disney channel. But man, I even had think "Okay, you're just watching fish, go to freaking bed!" and it still took another 5 minutes before I left! Like the fish were going to start a conga line just as I turned the lights off. They probably did, just to spite me.

Ice Cream Week

So this has been an ice cream kinda week here are the rockstar mom palace. Grocery shopping Monday evening I brought home nice things like pizza and marshmallows and thanks to Niki, I know the pleasures of Ben and Jerry's Cinnamon Bun ice cream. It's like a cookie dough inspired ice cream, as it has chunks of cinnamon bun dough with swirls of cinnamon strudel. Let me tell you, I am not a cinnamon person, but this is pure decadence. So I got me some and that night after Hayley went to bed I picked up my spoon and the pint and sat on the couch and went to work. I finished it off without meaning too. I did feel slightly sick but oh it was worth it.
The next day was Erika's birthday, so we went to lunch, but Erika was in no mood to go back to work, especially not on her birthday and so we decided that we needed some more ice cream. We went over to Cold Stone and I got my usual of Cake Batter ice cream. I can't put into words how much I love to eat certain things that you are suppose to bake before they have been baked. So that was the second day in a row that there was ice cream involved.
Today Erika decided that work was killing her and off to lunch we went again to La Puenta's (not that one that burned down, the one just south of that) and ate smothered burritos. We decided that since we were here, the least we could do was to eat some fried ice cream. After we split the creamy goodness I realised a pattern, I'd taken a few days off in between, but my ice cream splurge was continuing. i pointed this out to Erika and she reminded me that tomorrow I'm joining her family for birthday dinner which will, more than likely, involve ice cream cake from Dairy Queen.

So I ask you, is there such a thing as too much ice cream? At what point will I die of sweet cream poisoning? And of course, will you wheel me around after I've lost the ability to stand upright due to my ice cream obsession?

Bringing the Sexy

Watch Matt's new video and vote for him on yahoo's "Who's Next?" section.

Come On Get Higher

Me and the Rockstars Get on Fine

Matt Nathanson was one of the openers for Lifehouse here at the Depot. I’m not a Lifehouse fan, but we all know how much of a fan girl I am for little Matty. I had never been to the Depot and since I wasn’t a Lifehouse fan I figure no one else would be either, so I wasn’t worried about tickets. Lucky for me, my friend Trish is a little more anally retentive and she went and got us both tickets because the show, it sold out. I wanted Magen and Erika to come again and for Niki to join me in my Matt-love, but alas, it was not to be. So Trish and I arrange to meet downtown at the Gateway mall, since that’s where the Depot is! Who knew? So just over an hour before the doors are suppose to open I get there and check out the line. There were about 25 people in line, but it was freezing and Trish and I were hungry! So we headed over to the food court and ate and the dude at the Chinese food place tried to steal Trish’s credit card by inaction, and if she had not tried to use the ATM, we might not have known it was even missing. Seriously. We sat in front of this guy for about 25 minutes while he held onto her card and didn’t say anything! What a jerk! So after that we made it into line about 6:50 pm, thinking they would open the doors at 7 sharp and then we’d be fine. Unfortunately the line was now about 150 people long, so we got in the back and waited. And waited. And waited. 7 came and went and while the depot employees were trying to get things streamlined by going down the line and checking IDs for hand-stamps (21 and over my friends) but we were all grumbling at this point. Trish and I were right in the driveway for the valet parking, so we got to be very close to many fancy cars, which we had an intense desire to vandalize in some way. Perhaps we are more like teenagers than we’d like to believe.

Finally the doors opened after the venue people explained to us that the opening band was late for sound check and we all rushed in. As Trish expected the first spots to go were along the sides in chairs and up by the bar, so while the front of the stage was pretty packed, we were able to get fairly close on the side. Not an amazing spot by any means, but decent. Of course that wasn’t taking into account the rude drunks that had gotten pretty good spot right in the cent near the stage. They had to keep leaving to get drinks. I think they went back and forth about 8 times. I’m sorry? Can’t you go sit at the bar? I’m sorry that while pushing your way up front, your beer spilled, but that’s the chance you take when you’re a moron! Oh well.
Then of course standing right in front of me was the she-male. I swear that even with the dangling earrings and the sparkly vest-shirt (shest?) that this was a man. She was heavy set with a buzz cut, so imagine my surprise when I saw a woman’s face. She was probably in her 50s and a good 4 to 5 inches taller than me and this woman couldn’t’ keep her head still to save her life. She kept tilting it with the music, so while for a minute, I’d have a good view and then, tilt! Good view is now just a view of the she-males buzzed head!
Trish and I were ready to hate the opening band, called Honey Honey, since they were the reason we had to stand in line outside for an extra 25 minutes, and when they came out, I thought at first they were about 12, turns out it was just my view, as the lead singer is taller than me. They were so awesome. They explained that they had just gotten out of the car after the drive from Colorado and had not even had time to change their clothes. They had a very bluesy feel to them, which I’m sure was accented by the fact the lead singer also played an electric violin and the banjo! The drummer was so adorable, so goofy and animated, here’s their myspace http://www.myspace.com/honeyhoneyband definitely worth checking out. If I hadn’t needed my cash to get out of the parking lot I might have bought their EP. They won me over very quickly. The lead singer was so endearing, but there most memorable song is called “Screw” It was a very sweet soft sounding song about how “I’m not using you, you just look like you need it” So good times.
Then it was Matt. The band came out and was getting the equipment set up and I saw this spiky head backstage, and my heart skipped a beat! Which was a little weird, but I knew it was him! Hurrah! He came onstage to loud applause and seemed like he was really having a lot of fun. They started the rocking with “To the Beat of Our Noisy Hearts” and “Gone” I really have to hand it to Matt, he is excellent at dealing with loud drunks, the crowd was eating out of his hand. At one point he asked the balcony how they were and to keep drinking because the “more you drink, the better we sound.” When he asked the middle of the balcony how they were the applause was intense and he said “If you’re sitting there, we sound like Led Zepplin.” Next came “Princess” which I love, but I was sad because he didn’t start off by playing “Jesse’s Girl”, since I have so many bootlegs of him doing that, it’s my favorite. But then just as I was getting over that small disappointment he put it in as a bridge/sing-a-long! He did the second verse as well so that more people could sing along, I loved it! Then they finished up “Princess.” He introduced “Come on Get Higher” saying how it was a song to try and steal a little of the sexiness that you get from Usher and Ricky Iglesias. I liked this song a litter better solo, I really got into it when he played it in Provo. Still, very, very good.
I believe he played “Falling Apart” next, which is excellent live, but is very lacking on the album. It was a this point I was sad that I can’t get the same thing from listening to his new album. I love almost all of those song, and have since before they had titles and finished lyrics, but getting that album was such a let down. It feels like all the emotion has just been sucked right out of the songs. It seems very overproduced to me, and since it took about 4 years for the album to come out, I wonder if that’s what happened. It makes me so sad, because these songs are heartbreaking and wonderful, but you don’t get that when you listen to the album, they sound very plain and lackluster and they aren’t! It’s crazy!
He followed that up with “All we Are” and told us that while he likes Denver, it’s not Salt Lake and we deserved a happy song and since he only has written 2 of those, they are very special. I love this song, which has been on TV a bit. I heard it on NCIS and I was so excited but Husband didn’t understand. That’s my Boy! He’s making it in the big time!
He introduced “Detroit Waves” as the song he wrote when he was battle rappin’ in the streets of Detroit. He also added a bit of “Kids in America” so that we wouldn’t have to deny ourselves the sing-a-long. It was super cool. This is one of my favorite new songs, which I’ve loved since the first time I heard it. But once again the album doesn’t live up to the intensity you get hearing him play it. You may think I’m just one of those people that just can’t appreciate the music if it’s not being played just for me, but I’m listening to songs from Matt’s last album right now and they are beautiful and poignant and that’s the reason I love Matt as much as I do, so it definitely makes me very sad to lose this connection with the new songs.

Then “Wedding Dress” I heart this song, although I liked it just a touch better when it was “Winter Dress” but it makes more sense this way I guess. He added some lyrics, I don’t know if it was a different song or just some new improve, I wanted to remember the lyrics, but now I can’t :(
Then of course the single that most people know “Car Crash” It’s been so fun to hear this on the radio, every time I get so excited that they are really playing Matt. He deserves it. Once again I’m a snob and like the early versions of this song where the chorus is a little different the best, but it’s a great song and should definitely make him famous or at least get people to buy that CD.
“Answering Machine” the standard closer. As he was telling people the song-a-long lyrics he told us “They don’t make any sense, but neither does REM… and I love them.” I think he added the love thing just because the Utahns would lynch him if he made fun of REM. But he does love REM as he will throw a little “Losing my Religion” into one of my favorite songs. It was fun and I decided that since I couldn’t really see through the she-males shaved head, that I would sing the whole song, not just mouth the words as I so politely did through the whole concert. Didn’t make a difference, but was a bit liberating. He announced he would be signing things back by the merch booth after his set and after Lifehouse played. I didn’t come to see Lifehouse, so I was a super friend and went and got Trish a new Matt shirt for her to wear, I hope it looks awesome on her (I’m sure it does) it had an answering machine on it! Get it? Ha ha! These two cute girls behind us, whom Trish had offered to trade places with since she was taller thanked me. I’m not sure why, they said “because you were here!” so for what that’s worth, I’ll take it.
I headed back to the booth which was stuck in a corner. Only one way in and one way out. There were so many girls waiting to talk to him! It was nuts and I had to ask someone I didn’t know to take my picture with him. I had him sign my “Slow but Speeding” EP which I figured was the neatest most rarest thing of his that I have, even though it’s not that neat.

I asked him if he had gotten used to being an opener again, since you know, I read his online journal, so I know the first show in Seattle, he had to really work to win over the crowd and it was a little strange for him after coming off his headlining tour. He said he had and it was getting better. He forgot my name again and I razzed him for it. I’m also such a nice person that I told him he was wearing the same shirt that he wore when he performed at the radio station here. You know, because I like to make rock stars feel stupid about thier clothing choices. I also decided to tell him that I’m a ridiculous fan girl that I found a belt buckle online to replace the one he broke, but it hadn’t arrived (oh, I’m going to kill me some online retailers) and that I “felt bad about it” and he looked maybe a mixture of surprise and fear, well, he didn’t show the fear he must have been feeling, but he seemed to think that my trying was really sweet. So the stranger took my picture and I tried to tell him that he had really won over the crowd, but all that would come out of my mouth was “All these people love you” so, yeah. My brain doesn’t work too good sometimes. So I left the surging mass of girls and was about to leave in triumph when I looked at the picture on my camera. I had my eyes closed. So I got my butt back into the line and tried not to be too pushy since I had already talked to him. After a bit I got to the front and said “Me again! I was blinking! Redo!” and some other stranger took my picture. He gave me a big hug (and I melted then I died) and I told him it was just like that time in Colorado where I just kept coming back again and again and again. And I had told him silly things like I loved him and that he was hot. I then rolled my eyes and said how long ago that was (3 years?) and he said how much we had both grown. It was super cute.

I decided to just hang out and listen to at least the first Lifehouse song, since I had paid all this money to get in the door. Matt was still signing and talking to people and then there was a group of older people (one of whom looked like a slimmer George Lucus!) that he stopped and talked to for a bit. He started to walk away and saw me and kinda waved and I waved bye to him, it was totally sweet. Then, I was trying to make my way out after the ridiculously long Lifehouse song which I didn’t recognize until the very end and Matt was also on his way out, there were two girls who were trying to talk to him and I was trying to get around them so I could leave (although to be honest, since Matt was right there, I wasn’t trying too hard) and then they asked me to take their picture with Matt. I agreed and the first picture was just a close up of his face since the picture screen on the camera was totally black due to the poor bar lighting at the show. But then I took another picture and everyone had their eyes open and it was really sweet. So I got to walk passed Matt on my way out and I didn’t even stop him to talk to him again. Mostly because he kept getting snagged by other people, but I didn’t stop and wait just to tell him the new things I had thought of since last time or all the things I wanted to tell him but forgot since he makes me so flustered. I just let him go. And hopefully he won’t be gone too long again and then I’ll make sure me and all my friends have tickets to that glorious occasion! Viva La Matt!

Not a bad picture, finally!

Sweet 17 Months

Oh my little pretty princess. You are just the worlds fastest learner this month. You're starting to say all kinds of words. just this morning you surprised me when I pulled out your day socks and you said "ock!" I just about fell over! And just yesterday you learned how to climb up on big people chairs and sit just like a grown up, of course that also means you can now climb onto the table. I'm excited!

This month has been a lot of attitude and stubbornness from you. You refuse to do anything if you don't want to and you don't want to do anything unless it's your way. This can be frustrating as I want you eat and you don't want to. You can be really good about it, as long as you can feed yourself, but you're a little ticked off if I try to feed you. So anything that is not finger food does not make it passed your lips unless i can trick you into eating it and that only lasts about 1 maybe 2 bites. But you did awesome with Thai food! You really liked it! That and you flirted with the waitress all night long! I hope that reduced our bill a little.

Your crazy eating habits are driving me nuts. You won't eat hardly anything, except yogurt, you'll eat tons of yogurt, but no fruit, no bread, no veggies, no pizza, no mac'n'cheese. I tricked you into eating tiny little bites by asking you you what something tasted like and you do try it, but that was about as good as it would get. You want soup of something, but your hand/eye coordination isn't really that advanced. You are doing okay with your oatmeal, but some days are better than others and some days you don't really want to eat it, you want to paint with it or toss spoonfuls onto the floor.

You are such a daddy's little girl. You are even saying Daah-ee now, which is cute, but come on! I'm the one you slaves over your every need (from the hours of 5 pm to 7 am) but you love to show me that you want to hang out with daddy instead. You'll eat for him where you'll spit the food out if I give it to you. You'll cry if I pick you up but cry if he won't pick you up. It makes him feel very loved, but me a little less loved, but I guess it's your finicky child nature and of course you're starting your terrible twos way early.

You love to babble and our morning and evening drives are accented with you talking Chinese all the way to our destination (unless you are tired, then you just stare blankly until someone gets you out of your chair and you're full of life all of the sudden) and it's so cute, You talk to your toys and on pretend phones. I swear I'm not on the phone that much, so I don't know where you learned all this.

It's been a silly month full of love and it's been a hard month full of new teeth and being sick, but at least every day with you is an adventure.

Love,
Mama

Would you be my Valentine?

I remember fondly the days of childhood spent making pink and red paper hearts and infusing them with white paper dollies and maybe some glitter and then in the advancing years trying to figure out which store bought valentines were the best to give to my favorite friends and boys i had crushes on. I really wish that i could keep some of the paper magic alive after all these years, but really Valentines holds little meaning to me anymore. It's a good time to buy and eat chocolate, but really, I don't think that I need a holiday for that. I like the idea that there a holiday to tell people that you love them, but once again, should we need a holiday for that? Perhaps I'm just a scrooge because I'm at work and I just got down with my "scult and tone" class and it was "butts and guts" day (which honestly, thank you to my teacher as I've been waiting for her work out our butts all semester!) so now I'm tired and faced with the prospect of a long commute home and perhaps that has made me cynical. Even still, it's nice to have a day where even though we don't get work off, we could (if we could be bothered) make little pink contruction paper hearts for our friends and boys we have crushes on and no one will think we're weird today of all days.

The Scissors-They Eated My Hair!

So I decided it was time to get my hair colored again since my roots were about 4 feet long and I desperately needed a trim as when I hold Hayley to put her to bed, she pushes my hair away from her face just like her father does. Bunch of babies. So I needed some inches off and new reddish red-brown and some new streaks. Last time I got some orange bleach streaks to compliment the month of October, which was very autumnal and lovely, but I was inspired by one of Hayley's dolls. What you can't see from the picture to the left, is that with her cute red hair, she has pale pink streaks in her hair and I thought this was so totally cute. So I decided I would ask if they could do that.

First things first, these people, they are beauty school students and also, the girl I got today? Very Chinese. Which is fine, if you can understand what she's saying. So I ask her if I can get pink, the instructors helps her figure out what I want and they say it's no problem, and I got the impression they just mix something into the bleach and I'll get pink! Hurrah! So my girl gets another Chinese girl who is not doing anything and they start on my color. I'm thinking that since there are 2 of them this will just fly by! Well it did until they got to the crown of my head. Where I wanted streaks. Except they must have thought I wanted a weave. A real tight weave. They spent, no freaking joke, about 30 minutes foiling my hair. They would take about 6 strands of hair and make that one color, then take another 6 strands of hair and make that a different color and so on until I was wearing about 5 pounds of tin foil on my head. I'm little nervous at this point, because these Chinese girls, they were like machines, where I would have given up and just slapped some color on my head, they were meticulous about those 6 strands until the whole top of my head was done. So the bleach and color sat on my hair a few more minutes and then rinse. After the rinse she then put the red color into my hair, which I wasn't sure how this red was going to end up pink but the instructor didn't seem concerned, so I didn't fret. That sat on my hair 10 minutes and got rinsed off. That's when I saw the mirror. My pink streaks were fire engine red. The instructor came and looked and said "looks good" and walked off. Um, excuse me? This isn't close to pink! But I looked at it for a minute and it's pretty cool and I look like a rock star and I was promised that it will fade when I shampoo it.

So the girls get to washing the color off my face. I always came away from getting a coloring looking a bit like a clown. I get red all over my face and it won't come off. So those 2 armed with Q-tips attacked the offending red. They were getting it off my scalp too! They would take a few centimeters of hair, go in-between and scrub off the dye. It was crazy, I have never had someone try to get color off my scalp before, but maybe since it was crazy bright red they didn't want me to look like a freak.

That's when I tried to explain what I wanted to happen with my trim. I wanted about 3-4 inches off it, so that hair doesn't get stuck in my armpit but still fairly long, about 2 inches past my shoulder is what I described. So she starts to cut, and cut and cut and cut. I told her I wanted one little layer that was about an inch off the rest just to add some body and shape. I think I should not have said that. So she layered and layered and then she was done. I looked objectively thinking, 'Well, it's shorter than I wanted, but it's still long enough, it'll grow.' So she dried it and flat ironed it. At this point it was now over 3 hours and while I wasn't itching to get back, I figured the end was near. She spent about 20 minutes flat ironing little tiny pieces of my hair. It was the most thorough styling I've ever had. Then she got her scissors back out. I thought she was just getting a few stay hairs or maybe it wasn't even. No. She was thinning my hair. My already thin, fragile, little hair. Thinning. To add texture I guess. I wanted to cry. I like my hair cuts nice crisp lines. I guess she does not. And with that thinning was more shortening. There was one point where she turned to get a different pair of scissors and I almost took off right at that moment. She took this pair of scissors and added a little really tiny layer about 4 inches from my scalp! I almost lost it right then, but this was some sort of texturing scissors and only cut a few hairs at a time, but still! And she was using her scissors almost like a razor near my face to make more layers! Then she had the gall to ask me if it was short enough. Now that it was about an inch above my shoulders. Yes, I think the 3 inches in length that I'm missing are just fine! Happy smiley face! It had now been almost 4 hours. Four freaking hours! She got me my coat and I ran out of there. I had been planning on giving her a tip, but not after she took the initiative and starting adding crazy layers to my hair. That I didn't ask for! and didn't want! Everyone is saying how cute it is. And they are right. I don't hate it. It very cute and edgy and rock starish, but this is not the color or cut I was prepared for.

So I guess now I have to take my hair vitamins to grows me some more hair fast!

Sixteen Glorious Months

Little girl, every day you get bigger and also get new personality quirks. Your newest thing is tilting your little head onto your shoulder when you’re either concentrating or trying to show me how cute you are. It can’t be comfortable, but it sure is adorable.
You’re getting much better at feeding yourself with your spoon and you’re being somewhat less picky about what you eat…sometimes. Some days you’ll eat whatever but some days it’s like we’re trying to give you arsenic and I swear we’re not! Take this last Sunday, you ate potatoes. Po Ta Toes! You hate potatoes! but these were instant and you seemed to like them fine, until I gave you a second helping with slightly more gravy and then it was splitsville or spitsville would be more appropriate.
You are giving kisses and loves on demand, high fives and now “nuks” or when you bump fists, you like that one and everyone else thinks it’s pretty funny too.
Naps are becoming very difficult because you get tired in the morning but you don’t want to sleep, so you fight and fight and now I’m seeing if just one nap a day will be enough or if I’ll have to duct tape you to your crib.
As your parents we are finding out that while other people may want us to hang out at their house, we like our friends to come here so you can get to bed on time and don’t start reeling around like a little drunk after 8 pm comes and goes, but we’re socializing you pretty well I think. You have almost as many sitters as there are days of the week. You like most strangers, although the teenage boy cashiers at the store who try to talk to you are on your list of people to despise, which I hope last another 18 years.
This last week you cried after I dropped you off at the sitters for the first time ever and while I don’t want you to be sad I do want you to miss me, so while I was all “oh don’t cry” while I was leaving you, once I got to the car I gave myself mental high five because you do like me a little sometimes! But this sitter situation has become difficult because while your grandparents loved you as a baby, the most trouble you got into was rolling away, but now you’re a little bundle of energy and so you make those old people tired, so they don’t want to watch you as often which means I need to find other people to take up the slack and while you have one sitter that is good most of the time, she lives on the moon. I’m really tired of at the end of every week not knowing where you’re going to be at the next week. I’m really hoping to at least find a night-time part time job that will let me be home during the day and leave you with your dad during the evenings, because it doesn’t matter how much trouble you are, he can’t refuse to watch you, so I’ll be covered. We’ll see how this next month pans out and hopefully there can be real progress soon.
You’re a toddler now and I swear you’re starting the terrible twos early. You scream for no reason, you scratch and kick and pull hair until I’m at my wits end, because it’s like most of the time your wearing your nice face and then you get a little tired or hungry and then your mean face comes out. I don’t want to spank you, but man sometimes I really do want to. I’m going to need to figure out some kind of discipline soon or else you’re going to be in charge of me and that’s not the way I roll.
You’re learning how to brush your teeth which is something we’ve been a little lacking on until I got to the point where I could smell your terrible breath, so now it’s part of your bed-time routine and you love it. I tell you that it’s time to brush your teeth and you zoom up the stairs even though that also means it’s bedtime. It’s funny because you fight the naps, but bedtime is bedtime and that’s set in stone so you don’t fight it, you just slip peacefully off to dreamland, and without a binky too! We’re complete transitioned to no binkies at bedtime and you’re cool with it and I’m very grateful for that.
I can definitely tell you want to be independent but you also want and need our constant attention and praise. I think this is the beginning of the Hard Times with toddler-dom, but you’re just so darn cute that I can’t resist you. I just want to eat you all up.

Lova Ya,

Mama

Holy New Year Batman!

So um, it's been a little bit hasn't it? I'm trying not to make this just a monthly Hayley blog, I really try.
The New Year hasn't been awesome thus far, but bringing it in with good friends sure was. It's nice to get Erika in the room with all my other friends (except Niki, we missed you!) so that everyone knows that I did not get someone to impersonate a coworker named "Erika" at my birthday. We had too much food, nachos and candy and ice cream. It was great and I ate myself silly and we played games. Both times my team went from having a huge lead to losing big time. I think we don't have enough endurance to make it all the way, but maybe next time!

I don't really have any resolutions this year except the one that I've had for 2 years and that to be done working but I don't think it's feasible for 2008. Maybe that's my goal for next year. I'm almost to a good place with my weight to be "wear" (get it???) I want to be and not stress about it anymore.

Maybe I should make some goals, but I'm far too lazy, because then i would have to remember them and try to do them and then at the end of the year figure out if i reached them. Much easier just not to have any. How about this: I resolve to spend time with good friends, live well and laugh often. Okay. Done.

Merry 15 Months Baby

It's certainly been a long month for me! Getting all ready for Christmas and making sure that you were taken care of as it's Daddy's first month back at work has been stressful to say the least. You've been mostly at Mandy's house although Niki and Grandma did take you for a day each. I spent 3 days during that last 2 weeks before my Christmas holiday just being home and finishing up the shopping and whatnot and it was lots of fun. You seem to be in the middle of a nap transition. For me you'll still take 2 naps a day, but anywhere else it's pulling teeth to get you down for a nap and then it's only 1. I'll be sad if I can't keep you with your two naps, but it is a sign that you're getting bigger and your little body needs fewer rests during the day. This month has also brought the emergence of the meltdowns. Your first was lovely and at Archibald's restaurant. I think your napping situation is taking it's toll on you as well and so now you're being nap deprived and so meltdowns are occurring regularly.
I found out I was suppose to let you start spoon feeding yourself at 12 months, so sorry, it's a bit late, but we're working on it. This morning you were able to get most of your oatmeal in your mouth all on your own. It will be a lovely day when I can eat and you can feed yourself and I don't have to wait until your finished. You mostly stab at things with your spoon and that does make it harder to eat, but today you were able to figure out the whole turn the spoon and it will hold foodstuffs until it get to your mouth. I was very proud. You're getting more open about foods but you still hate potatoes and even sweet potatoes that you will eat out of a baby food jar, but in real life, you can't stand them.
You have a brand new cousin who is very small. I remember those days but I was always so excited to see who you would be. Looking at your little face and wondering how you would act. I'm very happy with where you're at right now and while I'm excited for you to start saying real words, this is all passing away very quickly. Soon it'll be time to start again with a new baby so you can be the big sister, but for now I'm glad it's just you and me (and maybe Daddy a little).

The doctor told us we should work on teaching you your body parts, but apparently you already know them without our help. I asked and all of the sudden you knew where your ears, mouth and nose were. You're still working on your eyes, but 3 out of 4 isn't bad at all!
Christmas was a lot of fun this year. Last year you fell asleep but this year you really got the hang of opening the presents and discovering what was inside. You didn't get tons as I expected, but you did get some big things. A rocking horse that neighs and wags it's tail from one set of grandparents and a baby guitar and maracas from the other. I got you a few little things and then some clothes. You will be such a styling little thing. It's pretty obvious that everyone loves you.
You want so much, so want to take the stairs facing forwards as you go down them, but you're too little unless there is something or someone for you to hang on to. You want to help sweep the floor and help with the laundry. Whenever something is getting washed you must be allowed to put at least 1 item into the washer and then you wave bye-bye to the clothes. You want to get all your clothes out of the basket and carry them around the house, so your room is a disaster area. Oh well, some day soon I'll get to be home all day and maybe then I can find the energy to put the clothes away before you get to them.
I guess we'll still keep you.

Heart You,
Mama

(It really was the pictures! I couldn't get them upload, so here's few extra because you're so cute)

Oh Tori, You Came and you Found me a Black Swan

What can I say except wow. This was my second Tori show in 2 days and that's the most I've ever done in a row, usually I hit different areas on different legs of the tour, but this time the way things worked out, I got to see two shows in a row. With Tori doing the whole "dolls" thing this really helped to create two vastly different shows. The first in Salt Lake with Pip started off so intense and angry, and this show today in Boise, Clyde was intense but in a less threatening way. I want to go really in depth about both shows and what happened leading up to them.

Niki and I had a comedy of errors trying to get out the door. she forgot her pillow and the directions and I forgot the tickets! Luckily we had stopped for breakfast nearby when I remembered and we figured we could hit Niki's house on the way. It was a five hour drive where seeing the distant mountains that are just slightly dusted with snow was the most interesting part of our journey. Mostly the road between here and salt lake (blogging on the road! I love the digital age!) is flat, nothing wasteland not a lot out those are windows. It's a 5 hour drive, but Niki had brought Anasai Boys on audio CD for us to listen to and I think this really helped the time fly by. We headed straight to the venue to see if the meet 'n' greet was going to happen soon and when we got there there were maybe about 15 people standing behind the barriers. We figured since it was already after 3 we should stick it out even though it was bitter cold. We were not disappointed. Soon Smitty (tori's bodyguard) came out to tell us it would be just a few minutes. Niki and I decided since we met her yesterday, it would be nice to either observe (that's Niki) or chat with Ms Amos (that's me!) rather tahn get something signed. So since there were so few people there Tori was taking time with everyone and really having a bit of a chat with people. People were free to move to the side after talking with Tori and this was the first time I've seen Smitty so relaxed and looking like he was having a bit of fun too! almost. It came to my turn and I told Tori that since I had met her the night before that I didn't need anything signed but I did want to ask her a question. I told her that I was very intrigued with the concept of the different personas on this album but that as a new mother I was having a hard time being nurturing and being able to be the Aphrodite too. And since Tori had so many different hats to wear what was her secret. She told me that Santa (the Aphrodite Doll) has really helped her marriage. That being sensual doesn't have to be independent of being spiritual. The patrichary has shamed us into thinking we can't have both but as women deserve to have it all. She told me that Santa isn't just a sensual creature, but that she love fabric and texture and architecture and beauty and that we all deserve to feel beautiful. Santa isn't interested in talking about the war, she's more interested in having a moment (and here I totally thought that she was going to say makeover). She also said that Santa isn't the one who goes to playgroups and she's not the one who picks up Tash from school, because each doll and each aspect of ourselves has a time and a place. Santa likes to go out to dinner and be social, so she's out a lot with Husband, but not so much with Tash. She was so sweet and twee and so personal. Then Niki took our picture with her awesome new camera and I reminded Tori that I had requested Black Swan. She had that "oh yeah" look on her face and wrote it on her hand, she asked if this would be our last show and we said that it was, so she told us that she would see what she could do. I took a few more pictures of her with other people and then since we weren't all corralled like sheep, we decided we were done and we left to go hang out in our posh hotel room.

I felt that Clyde would come out tonight. The venue is beautiful, a concert hall used to classical music, I figured that Clyde would feel comfortable in that setting. I was right. Seeing shows opened by Pip and Clyde are two different experiences. Pip was all infectious anger but Clyde, is stoic, silently intense, preferring to let the songs speak for themselves. She came out with a black cloth over her eyes which she dropped in front of the piano. Our seats were just stage left off center and 3rd row. They could hardly have been better. Bouncing off Clouds was fun and Little Earthquakes was great to hear. Juarez which I don’t think is anyone’s favorite song, but it is very powerful. Upside Down was a great surprise for me, since I adore that song. Mary followed it and while this isn’t one of my favorites, I can appreciate getting 2 b-sides in a row. Beauty of Speed is a gorgeous song and the “colors changing” was nice with the different colored lights but not the “amazing lights” I had thought they would be. I guess they were so built up in my mind that they couldn’t live up. Clyde left and picked up her scarf as she went. I had heard that Clyde didn’t look much at the audience, but she didn’t seem shy last night, she looked at the audience as much as Tori normally does and while she didn’t seem cheerful at any point she didn’t look uncomfortable on the stage either. Costume change and then Big Wheel, which I must say, is really growing on me, since I didn’t care for it at first, but it could become as popular as one of her other singles. Fairytale was lovely, as Scarlet’s Walk is a the definitive road trip album and after being on the road for 5 hours that day it was very lovely to hear. And the boy whose picture Niki took for him had requested it, so I was excited to see what would happen for me. Tear in Your Hand was sort of weird in the middle since I'm so used to it being an encore, but anything from Earthquakes is good to hear.
When she started Northern Lad I was excited, but the improv about messing up and her boys helping her out and it being a Spud day was so cool. I was even happier to hear Putting the Damage On as any Pele is good Pele. I love this song more then Northern Lad, so it was a positive trade in my eyes. The improv was gorgeous and apparently similar to what she had performed in Houston. I’ll need to listen to it more in the bootleg. It said Coraline or maybe “call Rolene” a lot and something about Navajo, it reminded me of the last show she played in this theatre on the Scarlet’s Walk tour in 2003 and it was the day that we learned of the first women to die in the Iraq war, who also happened to be a Hopi Indian, perhaps Tori was reminded of this or maybe else brought it out, but that’s what I thought of. I now felt spoiled getting 2 improvs and this made up for the lack of improvs in the Salt lake show. What came next was also a repeat from the 2003 Boise show and that was Not the Red Baron which was heartbreakingly beautiful and poignant. But what happened next I was not prepared for. Seeing Tori in salt lake at the sound check I had asked if in Idaho, Black Swan could come and Tori’s expressions told me that she thought it was a plausible idea. At the meet’n’greet before the show I reminder about my request and she once again wrote it on her hand and asked if we’d be at any other show and I told her this was my last. So seeing as how this was the 2nd song of the 2 song solo time when she started the piano intro it sure sounded like Black Swan to me, but I didn’t want to get too excited just in case I was wrong, as piano intros can turn into something else quickly. I was not disappointed when those first notes rang out for Black Swan I started to tear up. This song reminds me of when my husband was in Iraq. I would wait for him to call me everyday, so whenever I hear “did Eric call, by the way” it brings it all back. I’ve been to Tori shows on many tours and while there have been touching moments where I’ve teared up, I’ve never really cried, maybe shed a tear, but I full on cried for a minute. It really meant something to me those Tori was willing to play a song, just because I wanted to hear it and just because it would mean something to me. Thinking about it now makes the tears come to my eyes. This is why I’m still a fan almost a decade and half later, because even though she’s a superstar now and has people fawning all over her and her every whim, she hasn’t forgotten the people that buy her records and she still gives the fans, the “little people” the respect that we deserve. This is moment I will treasure even when I’m old and gray. Coming off that high was Black Dove which does always seem to go with Black Swan. Birds of a feather I suppose. Bliss was rocking and of course Code Red, which while growing more on me, isn’t really hitting home for me. Maybe first base. Maybe. Rushed the stage and our amazing 3rd row seats turned into being almost right against the stage. No one was pushy or rude, at least near me, so that was great that we could all be polite to each other. Some people are saying that Cornflake Girl and Precious Things are getting old. I can see that if you’re going to every show. You hear it so many times, but most people only see one, maybe two shows. Those people want to hear the hits. I’m really struck by how much fun Tori still has with them every night. She wasn’t phoning in these standards, she was having a good old time, and I think it has to do with the skill that these songs take. She’s rocking that piano for Precious and Cornflake and while these songs are probably what make the shows seem more like an actual job than just awesome fun, she still finds a way to enjoy them and I think she feeds off how the people respond to it.
I was thrilled to hear Concertina as this is my favorite off of Venus and was impressed to see how much Venus made it into tonight’s show, it’s an album I tend to forget but I think I’ll be pulling out again and giving it a whirl. Finished off with Hey Jupiter of course. During this song and through out the whole set I noticed that Tori skipped whatever high parts she could get away with. Maybe it’s because this was her 3rd night in row performing and she was tired or maybe she was holding back for some reason and while I missed those high parts I don’t think it took too much away from the evening. I have to put this as my all-time favorite show because of the T & Bo section solely. Niki and I left on a high and though we were really tired we couldn’t get to sleep for a while. Driving home we listened to a lot of Tori and I think we are both really grateful that we choose to go to Boise and see this amazing show.

Here a Pip and There a Tori

I knew that Pip would be opening because of the sound check but I guessed as much because she’s the doll that hasn’t been out for a while. Since this wasn’t a Ticketmaster venue, there were no VIP tickets, but the radio station did a giveaway for basically the same thing. We got to listen to 3 songs and then have her sign one item and then group photos, no personal photos, which was rather disappointing. For the actual sound check before we were let back I heard Big Wheel, Smokey Joe, Heart of Gold, Hey Jupiter, Digital Ghost and I swear I heard Concertina, which made me excited since I love that song, but she didn’t come out for the show.
For the fan “sound check” she played Almost Rosey with the band and then a solo Leather. After we clapped she thanked us and told us basically that this was a practice and she needed to see how her monitors sounded with and without the band and these s may or may not come out to play during the show. She pulled out a piece of paper and from what I could see from the reflections on the Bosey they were lyrics, I was super excited. We got to hear Little Drummer Boy. It was truly a great start for our holiday season. We were walked off behind the stage and told to stand in a line and be quiet because they were going to be recording a few songs. From the backstage area we heard Little Drummer Boy again and also Leather, so maybe this will be on a new holiday CD? We all got to spend a few minutes with Tori and it was amazing to me that once again she was so personable and really friendly. She was wearing a gorgeous black beaded blouse and a pencil black skirt with knee high black boots and she looked great and it made me sad that she would change into the sequined jumpsuit later. I spoke with her and was a blithering idiot, but that lady, she’s nice to everyone. I had brought my book to the Piano: Collection because it’s beautiful and I love it. This was actually a present to myself last year after Hayley was born, so looking through the book reminds me of those early days. I mentioned that to Tori and kind of hoped she would pickup on the fact that I was mentioning my little on purpose as I had brought some photos with me just in case. Which sounds weird except that when we met Tori backstage in ’02 some showed her pictures of her baby and Tori pulled out pictures of Tash, but I guess we can’t have everything. Tori asked me if I played (the piano) and I told her a little, I felt nervous since I’m kind of crap at it. Then I told her that the way I learned to play was on the song “Here. in my Head” which I have told her before but we’re not buds or anything, so I doubt that she remembers that (or me!). I gave her a piece of prose that I had written that was very Scarlet inspired and hopefully she read it, but she’s busy. It was less then a page! Come on! I then asked if she could play “Black Swan” in Boise and she definitely looked like she would really consider it. I know she hadn’t played it this tour yet and my asking for random b-sides usually means that no, she wont’ play that, but she wrote it on her hand and then it was Niki’s turn to talk to her. Niki had her sign Beekeeper for our friend, so Niki is really unselfish and she’s going to get lots of good karma.
On to the actual show!
Niki wasn’t feeling well and wanted to be in tip top shape for our road trip the next day, so in an effort to spread more good cheer, she declined the free seat to the show with me and I got to enjoy the show with my adorable little friend Magen. We suck our cameras in to take some video and saw that our free seats were not crap, but actually fairly awesome. Pip opened and the raw energy from her was palpable. So aggressive and a wonderful way to start the show. We got to start out in full throttle. Standing and singing for most of her delivery of Cruel. She was in her green dress with her rubber leggings and looked amazing. I don’t know how, but those dolls all look about 25, so Tori must be eating her greens. Kneeling for Fat and then she did some push ups? It was kind of awesome but weird, but that Pip I guess. Teenage Hustling was spot on and the Waitress. I adore the “hang ten honey” bridge more than the rest of the song, so getting to hear it live again was a dream come true. Magen was loving how rockin’ the show was, lots of dancing and big cheers when she recognized songs. She had a great time sing along too.
Costume change and the boys jammed. A lot of people were up and dancing and grooving and it was a lot of fun. I was a bit nervous about it, since I’m not a fan of the Professional remix, but it was good. It was time to get out all the wiggles for those of us who can’t sit still too long.
She came back out in the gold jumpsuit, that we’re all getting used to, but I miss the really flowy or fun things she used to wear. Big Wheel of course, but it was lovely, better than the album and fun for the audience too! I think some people weren’t aware of the “don’t you forget” sing along but they picked it right up from those that knew the drill.
Caught a Lite Sneeze is a personal favorite so that was a highlight for me, but I miss the harpsichord and the switching keyboards for the bridge, but we can’t have it all (but I’m pretty sure one of those fancy keyboards could sound like a harpsichord, I’m just sayin') It was fun seeing when people started to recognize Crucify and Magen was in heaven when she played this.
She didn’t talk much, just once before introducing the band. She said she had a wonderful day and that she was so happy that she could play for us. That we were “magical” people. I think this is probably in reference to the auctioned off piano lesson that helped needy children in Utah. The generous person who won donated the lesson to one of these under-privileged kids. How un-selfish can you be considering the final price was $9,000! She played Mother and it was stunning. I wish I could have better concentrated as the loud drunk s were in my section and between them and the people yelling at them to shut up, it was hard to enjoy, but I managed. Then the lovely Merman. So heartbreakingly beautiful and very emotional, which once again was almost perfect due to the screaming. I’m trying to be all Zen and think that everyone has the right to enjoy the concert in their own way, but it was annoying. Sorry. I was a little sad about not getting an improv, since I’ve been hearing such good things about the improvs but oh well.
Digital Ghost was very sweet and it’s really so much better live, even though I do like the album version. She played Amber waves which was a disappointment for me, it’s the once track on Scarlet that I don’t listen to. It is better live, but not enough to redeem it. Father Lucifer was something I was hoping for. In Utah we usually get this song and God (for some reason, I don’t get it) but I still love it and the Steve McQueen ending is probably my favorite part of any song ever. It’s up there for me.
I was hoping that hearing Code Red live would help me like it since everyone says that hearing it live is such a treat. Meh, I could do without it, but it is fairly rocking and I could wiggle to it. She started Pretty Good Year and I actually squealed like a little . I wasn’t expecting that and I love the song. I also love that my friend jumped when she got to the “hey what’s it gonna take” part because she wasn’t expecting it to start rocking. She sang the “pretty she is” line, she probably always does now, but I love hearing it. Hey Jupiter to close, and while I was sad to see tori go, it was time. The concert was amazing, it was everything that I could have hoped, Tori was full of energy and was very playful, although she did seem to stay more to her lower register while singing, but she just could have been in a growly mood. She didn’t really play too much stuff from the new album which is fine, I love hearing the back catalog, but I was hoping for more off of Scarlet, and Beekeeper album was noticeably absent, but that’s not a bad thing. But really with so much from Earthquakes and Pink and even one Pele song, I am definitely happy. After the show Magen and I walked to our cars and listened to the videos from our little cameras before calling it a good night.

Sing When You're Winning

I know I've been talking a lot of smack lately about Tori's new album, and while i do stand by most of my criticisms, I can't help but liking it a bit. It also helps that she's going to be here in concert tomorrow. And then Niki and I are going to go to Idaho to see her the next day.
But really, how awesome is this, I won tickets! I wasn't going to go to the Salt lake show because I forgot they were going on sale until a few hours later and then all the floor was gone, and it seemed silly to pay so much money to see her from the cheap seats. I still wanted to go, but for cheap, or free, because I'm like that. Niki and I decided that since we saw Tori in Idaho a few years back, in this same venue, it would be a great rode trip for us and we wound up getting 3rd row seats. Thank goodness Idahoans don't go to concerts because of all the potato farming they do.

But the best part is, not only do I get to see the concert for free, but we also get to sit in on the sound check and then have her sign something!! If this had been a Ticketmaster venue, this would be called the "VIP Ticket" and would have been about $150 to purchase. Free. Bless that radio station. I'm so excited that last night I couldn't get back to sleep for about 1 1/2 hours. It's like I'm a kid and it's Christmas. I don't know what to wear or how to do my hair. Freak. I'm so excited. I'm such a little fan girl. but I'm also excited about missing work, which is my favorite part of any trip, the time off! Of course the 5 hour drive isn't going to be any cakewalk but I'll take it over what I've got!

Happy 14 Thankful Months

This month has been one of mood swings. You are all smiles and laughter unless you get tired or hungry and then it's all vengeful wrath! But the good still seems to outweigh the bad. You are running around like a little crazy person now and it's adorable. You babble all the time, mostly just "da da da da" and sometimes "DA DA DA DA" and a few other consonants, but not too many. You are getting so big, but it can't be because we are feeding you, because you don't like anything. Nothing with any sort of texture, you will chew up peas and then spit those suckers right out, and things that don't seem quite 'right' also get spit out. And when you've decided you are done tasting whatever we're feeding you, it gets spit out, and mostly there is just a lot of spitting things out.

You didn't eat anything related to Thanksgiving on that day. Not even the sweet potatoes. I blame your grandparents for scheduling food at 3:00 pm, because we had to feed you lunch before that, so you were full and even turned your nose up to pie. You weirdo.

You did get to play with your cousins on Thanksgiving, which you really took to. You just walk right up to those girls and start to play with them, no getting to know people or figuring out who they are, if they are child-sized, they need to play with you. Which is great for your socialization, which seems to be that mostly you love everyone, even strangers, except for when you don't.

You've really been getting this waving thing down. You wave all the time, especially when you're ready for bed, you wave to daddy as I cart you up the stairs and you'll wave usually on demand most of the time. It's funny because it goes from simply opening and closing your fingers to a real whole hand wave and sometimes both at the same time. You will also fold your arms when instructed to, which means you are more advanced then some kids twice your age. Of course your 'folded arms' are sometimes just putting the backs of your hands together, i know you get the general idea and it's so freaking adorable.

You've been having a great time with daddy and I'm so jealous that he's your favorite. He knows all your schedules and what you do all day, so that's been nice, where I know that he's taking really good care of you, but i just wish it was me. But maybe soon it will be! Daddy just got a new job that I may be able to switch to part time! That would be something at least and then we could spend more time together. Maybe soon enough baby girl.

Love ya Kiddo,

Mama

And I hate , and I Hate , And I Hate Elevator Music

I want to stop caring. I work at at job where mostly I couldn't care less, I go through the motions of making decisions, but sometimes I'm following policy and BAM! I'm fighting for this policy, this stupid, inane policy to be followed by those people who tell me that this policy (which falls just short of a state law although, maybe it is?) doesn't matter. And all the sudden I care. I care whether the policy is actually being followed and every day I'm consumed with angst and frustration and I have to go to this job and pretend that it doesn't bother me that my bosses stab me in the back. At least I stood up for what was right and actually fought this time rather than just keeping my mouth shut in disbelief that these people ignore these state mandates that I'm just trying to uphold, fat lot of good it did me. I even went straight to the top this time. I got the opinion of someone on the board that actually writes this policy and he totally sided with me. I reported this back to those who make my life miserable and now not only did they still blatantly ignore the policy, they are upset with how I went over their heads.
I just want to not care. I that I'm sitting here being so upset, being in tears, losing sleep, feeling worthless and depressed all for a job that I don't even like. It makes it even worse that I have this lowly job and I'm so worked up about it, and this isn't even something that affects me personally, but I'm taking it so personally.
It's like if I was a french-fry maker at a fast food company. Lots of people want fries. But the fries need to be consistent, so corporate sent all the french fry makers in the company a guideline that tells how the fries should be made. I try to stick to the policy and find that within this policy some of the fries are defective and should be thrown away, but then my manager comes to me tells me that I can't follow this policy because those fries deserve to get processed just like all the other fries who do fit into the guidelines, and I say, "But this could make people sick" and my manager is more concerned with his bottom-line, so I call corporate and they tell me, yes follow the policy and I tell this to my manager and still he tells me to serve those dang fries. And I can tell you this, if corporate is going to blame someone for the policy not being followed, it's not going to be my manager, it's going to be me, because this is my job and the manager is obviously too important to be blamed for his decisions.
I just want to be done. I want to walk in there and tell them to kiss off. But I can't. But it looks like if I'm going to be the one working, I will be doing a job search. I can't work like this. I know I sound like a broken record because this happens over and over, and I know everyone around me is sick of hearing about how I am so upset about this, but seriously, it's all I can think about. When I'm washing my face I'm thinking about my arguments that I used to defend my position and the things I should have said. While I'm going to sleep I list off all the different reasons that this situation doesn't fit the guidelines. During commercials I think about how much I never want to see that place again and how I'm going to act around these people now that my fighting for what I believe in makes me look like an overly-emotional and unprofessional person. I think of all the ways I can look like I'm working and yet not be working because my filling up my work with such spite that it's best I just take a break from it.
I want to stop this cycle of my job making me feel like the actual work that I do everyday is completely irrelevant and they might as well have an automated APPROVED machine and they wouldn't have to give it benefits and think of the savings!
I want to be done with it. I don't want to be dwelling on this on my weekend. MY weekend. My time away from work to spend with my family and now everything I do is lethargic and lacking emotion, probably because I spent it all getting overly emotional on work crap that no one else cares about, so why should I? Why should I indeed.
This is a brain-dump so that hopefully I can go to sleep and then wake up to spend my Saturday loathing the thought that Monday will come sooner than I think.

Halloween Treats

So Hayley went trick or treating! Sort of. We walked to about 5 houses, mostly to show off her cuteness. She loved it because she got suckers and also there were dogs everywhere! In our short time we got to pet 3 puppies and one even licked her face and knocked her down a couple times because it was so excited! But Hayley was excited too, so she didn't care. It was funny because she walks pretty well now and for about 10-15 feet at a time she could actually stay focused on moving forward with Husband and me before she decided that she needed to eat the leaf/smashed berry/rock on the sidewalk, but those things are hard to pick up when you have a sucker in one hand and your treat bag/purse in the other. Those are both precious things that she couldn't put down, so trying to pick up the debris from the street was difficult and gave me time to pick her up so that we could get moving again and get our little puppy out of the cold.

She showed her grandparents how adorable she was and got some candy before we headed home to make sure we didn't miss the 4 trick or treaters that came to out house. Then Hayley decided that sleep is for sissies and spent the next 1 1/2 hours screaming and not sleeping. I was about ready to call the gypsies or maybe the Goblin King but memories of how cute she was earlier kept me from this.

13 Spooky Months

Well Little One, since before you were born, your father has wanted you to go deer hunting with him. He has now had his wish. True, you didn't go out on the mountian (although you were asleep in the car when he went "scouting" so it's almost like you did) and sit in the cold, but you did wear your camo coveralls with an orange shirt and hang out in the grandparents trailer for 2 days, which is all anyone could ask of you.

Sometimes I'm amazed that your already 13 months and sometimes I can't believe you are only 13 months. You do seem to have this maturity about you. You are incredibly self-sufficent, so imagine my surprise when I give you spaghetti to feed yourself and you end up smashing it into your hair instead.

You are content to play on your own, but really want to play with others, already so social. But you also want what you want, when you want. There's no stopping you when you're determined to do/eat/play with something.

You talk up a storm, but only when you think no one is listening. In the car you are a fount of noises and sounds, but if I try to respond to you most of the time you'll clam right up. But you totally have the hang of uh-oh and woah and I swear you were saying "see" for horsies this weekend. You're almost to the point where you'll copy words from us, almost. Most times I can say "mama" at you until I'm blue in the face with no response but sometimes when I tell you "no" you respond "o" back at me.

You're such a stinker too. Always getting into things you're not suppose to (garbage cans, fire places, potted plants, etc) and you know what you shouldn't touch, because those are the things you want the most. But we try to keep you relatively safe, as long as it doesn't involve much effort. Distraction only works for you if we can provide you with something you really want, and you rarely want your toys more than you want something I just threw away.

For Halloween you're going to be the cutest little Dalmation. I'm trying to determine how to let you celebrate, should I drag you to the neighbors homes for candy that you know I'm going to eat for you (to make sure it's safe!) or just be at home all dressed up with nowhere to go? I'm going to start putting you into your costume everyday until Halloween. I paid over $10 for that thing, there's no way you're only going to wear it once.

But all in all, there's nothing else I would rather be doing than being your mom.

Love ya Boo!

PS I totally had this done over a week ago, but I'm too lazy to upload photos

Figured it Out

When Morrissey was here, he sang a song called "Sister, I'm a Poet" and one of the lyrics is "Turning, turning, turning the knife/On everything except her own life." Thinking about this song a bit and trying to really get a feel for the new Tori Amos album 'American Doll Posse' has finally clicked. Tori is now "Tori" and she's not a real person! Hello! No wonder! I was trying to think of a song from the new album that has the same introspective and personal lyrics that are evident in the whole 'Little Earthquakes' album and even showing up in 'Scarlet's Walk' in songs like "Your Cloud" But now, now we have a Persona Tori thing that is writing songs, songs that have nothing to do with the "personal" but more to do with the political. It's all through a filter of fiction, which means the songs aren't even close to being personal. The last album was really the start of this, with the only personal song being a song for her daughter, but nothing really for "Tori"

The whole thing smacks of illusion. This"Tori" person that we thought we loved, doesn't exists anymore, but instead the "Tori" is really want she thinks we want. We got all the slow melodies from the last album, so now it's time for the warrior woman. Unfortunately she's been warring with the same old song since 1992. Can you imagine that she's taken a b-side "Sweet Dreams" a song that she didn't even feel was good enough to make the album originally and she's turned that song into 25 and put them on an album?

There are moments on this album that I love. They seem to be the glimpses back into when "Tori" was Tori and could access her emotions during the music. During "Dragon" before the sickly sweet chorus, it almost hearkens back to 'Pele' and there are some times things rock like "Body and Soul" before she draws out the word "conversion" into 18 syllables and "Bouncing off Clouds" if you ignore all the oddly phrased lines.

While I'm excited to see her in Boise with Niki in December, I'm more excited for the live aspect of music that I love, rather then hearing the new songs. She can play a crowd very well and she always promises a show. She is a true performer and I think she really does love being on the stage, but I feel some of my fandom slipping away. Her kookiness is a bit too kooky for me now I guess. It's hard to relate to the music when it's so lacking in spirit.

Oh "Tori" could you please bring back the girl and her piano?